My Top Movies Of 2004

Okay, I think this list should only be movies I saw in theatres. I don’t think movies I saw at home on video or DVD should count. That will make it easier to do. So how many movies did I see in theatres this year. Hmm, divide by two, carry the one, hmm. Four. Four movies in theatres. That will make doing this list easy.

So, my top four movies I saw in theatres in 2004 were:

4. Shrek 2. I ranked this four because I only saw half of it. Ethan got cranky and I had to take him out of the theatre. I finally saw the rest of it on a plane. Wait. Seeing it on a plane is not seeing it at home. Hmm. If I count seeing movies on a plane, I saw six movies this year. But no one does a top six list. I’ll narrow it to five.

Okay, my top five movies I saw in a theatre or on a plane are:

5. Mean Girls. The best thing about this film is that it starred Lindsay Lohan’s breasts in various costumes. I give Lindsay Lohan’s breasts two big thumbs up! Yay the Lohan Two! Otherwise, it was okay.

4. Shrek 2. I still have Shrek 2 at number four because, ultimately, though it was funny and quite good, it doesn’t really have a heart. It was put on this earth to make money, not entertain. On the plus side, it doesn’t let Mike Myers ad lib. Mike Myers sucks when he ad libs. I think every Mike Myers movie should be required to have Eddie Murphy or Antonio Banderas in it. That certainly would have made the last two Austin Powers movies more bearable.

3. The Spongebob Squarepants Movie. Not as funny as Shrek 2, but much more of a heart. I wish it would have featured the regular cast more, but (aside from Dennis, the bounty hunter) the additions were good.

2. Hellboy. A very entertaining, very faithful adaptation of the comics. Ron Perlman in his Hellboy makeup makes me more comfortable with the idea of Michael Chilkis as Ben Grimm. A fun movie, and the best of film of the year I saw in a theatre or an airplane if not for:

1. Spiderman 2. The best superhero movie ever. A great, fun, entertaining film. Tobey Maguire is perfect as Peter Parker – hell, all of the casting is perfect. (Kristen Dunst may not have a pair of breasts as nice as Lindsay Lohan’s, but she’s still more of a hottie than Lindsay.) It was cool to see characters I’ve always loved on the big screen in a film I could love. I have high hopes for Spiderman 3. High hopes.

Almost making the cut – Miracle. Unfortunately, I fell asleep on the plane while this one was on. If it had had anything as stay-awake-worthy as Lindsay Lohan’s breasts, I would have stayed awake. But it didn’t. So I drifted off to sleep, just me and thoughts of the Lohan Two.