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    Wednesday, March 29, 2006

    The Importance Of Punctuation

    The song Jesus Take The Wheel takes on a lot different meaning if you add an exclamation point after Jesus and wheel. Try saying it.

    Jesus! Take the wheel!

    Sounds like something from Family Guy’s version of Passion of the Christ 2, doesn’t it?

    FYI: Miranda Lambert was Carrie Underwood first, except Miranda writes her own songs, plays her own guitar, is a better singer, and is hotter. Giggity.

    Wednesday, March 22, 2006

    Touch A Touch A Touch Me

    Here's the thing. I would never have played a touchplay machine if the nervous nellies of the Iowa legislature hadn't decided that the damn things were the source of all evil on the Earth and needed to be removed from all locations post haste. But because the bulk of the early part of the legislation session was spent on this one issue, I decided to play. And it was nothing special, just a variation on a slot machine, the lowest and boringest form of gambling. Did they need to be banned? Nope. Maybe tougher restrictions on placement, but no need for banning.

    The interesting thing is, many of the legislators braying the loudest about this are also among those braying the loudest about the need to strengthen Iowa's laws vis emminent domain. That is, those most worried about government's ability to take some one's private property were the one's most willing and most eager to inviolate the private contracts - the private property, if you will - of business owners. Isn't it ironic? Don't you think?

    Tuesday, March 21, 2006

    Music For A Tuesday

    This? One of my all-time favorite songs. It's one I can listen to over and over again, just set the repeat button and go. Like I am doing right now. Great lyrics, great sax, great guitar. Granted, that applies to a lot of Steely Dan songs. Bodhisattva. Doctor Wu. Everyone's Gone To The Movies. Josie. Peg. Rikki Don't Lose That Number. But my all-time favorite Steely Dan song is this one, My Old School.

    I remember the thirty-five sweet goodbyes
    When you put me on the Wolverine
    Up to Annandale
    It was still September
    When your daddy was quite surprised
    To find you with the working girls
    In the county jail
    I was smoking with the boys upstairs
    When I heard about the whole affair
    I said oh no
    William and Mary won't do

    Well I did not think the girl
    Could be so cruel
    And I'm never going back
    To my old school

    Oleanders growing outside her door
    Soon they're gonna be in bloom
    Up in Annandale
    I can't stand her
    Doing what she did before
    Living like a gypsy queen
    In a fairy tale
    Well I hear the whistle but I can't go
    I'm gonna take her down to Mexico
    She said oh no
    Guadalajara won't do

    Well I did not think the girl
    Could be so cruel
    And I'm never going back
    To my old school

    California tumbles into the sea
    That'll be the day I go
    Back to Annandale
    Tried to warn you
    About Chino and Daddy Gee
    But I can't seem to get to you
    Through the U.S. Mail
    Well I hear the whistle but I can't go
    I'm gonna take her down to Mexico
    She said oh no
    Guadalajara won't do

    Well I did not think the girl
    Could be so cruel
    And I'm never going back
    To my old school

    Monday, March 20, 2006

    My Bracket Was Gone

    With apologies to the Pretenders

    I looked in at Yahoo
    But my bracket was gone
    There was no Wisconsin
    There was no MSU
    Indiana had disappeared
    All my favorite picks
    My bracket had been pulled down
    Reduced to empty pages
    Cough, choke, way to go Iowa

    Well I went back to Yahoo
    But my bracket was gone
    I read all the game scores
    I had few teams left
    I was stunned and amazed
    My careful picks
    Slowly swirled past
    Like water in the toilet
    Cough, choke, way to go Illini

    I went back to Yahoo
    But my pretty bracket
    Had been torn down the middle
    By college teams that had no pride
    The teams of the Big Ten
    Had been replaced by other squads
    And sadness filled the air
    From gyms to dorm halls
    Cough, choke, state university of Ohio

    Sunday, March 19, 2006

    Blame Canada

    I'm in the office on a Sunday, having been here since 9:00 am, on an all-day (8-hour) conference call for a bid for a contract with the Canadian government, and we're already an hour behind schedule, and I can't imagine we're going to pick up time, indeed I am certain we will continue to lose time, and I've got a kernel of popcorn stuck in my teeth from seeing V for Vendetta last night which I will try to review tomorrow - the movie, not the popcorn, because who would review popcorn? - and it's really annoying me right now - the popcorn kernel, not the movie, which was actually good though not great - and I'm trying to get at it with a toothpick, and we're partnering with a couple of Canadian firms so the accents on the call are rather amusing at times, but all in all I can think of a lot of things I would rather be doing, and we're almost at the point where we are going to review the section I storyboarded myself, though I have to stay on because I am the proposal manager on this effort so I have to hear comments on all of our (and when I say our, I mean my company's) sections, and those sections are spread throughout the document, and maybe I can head home and do the rest of the call from there though it will be touch cause the boys will want to be talking, and it's weird to look out my window to the front parking lot and see a car pull up every now and then and see some other unlucky soul who has to be working on a Sunday morning come in, and it sucks to think that there are almost six more weeks on this bid, and I never knew that Canada used the term aboriginals to describe native groups, and I almost coughed right then without hitting mute first, and again we're almost at my section but the main commenters keep talking about the section right before mine, and I wonder if this post has gotten really annoying yet for you the home reader, and did I mention we are an hour off schedule in fact at this point we are an hour and fifteen minutes behind schedule, and I can't believe that the only comment I got was that I didn't get into enough detail on my storyboard because the reason I didn't go into more detail is because it is a fucking storyboard and storyboards are supposed to be in a bullet-point outline format that gives reviewers an indication of the sort of detail - DETAIL - you will write about when you actually write the section and perhaps that is the reason why I didn't spell out the acronyms I used and my fucking God how can we have been at this for almost three hours and still have covered ONLY two sections that are ONLY worth 4% of the total fucking score possible on this bid and now we just went through a section that is worth 20% of the total response in 20 minutes. ARRRRGGGHHHHHHH!H!!!!!H!H!H!H!H!HH!

    Friday, March 17, 2006

    The Chicks Are Alright

    The Dixie Chicks have a new album coming out in May. (Does anyone even call them albums anymore? Is that a word that automatically dates you? New CD? New release? Anyway…) The first single was released to the Web yesterday, and it’s great. Absolutely great.

    Now, I generally don’t factor in someone’s politics when I decide whether or not I like their music. I was a Chicks fan from the moment I heard Wide Open Spaces. Their political stances after the invasion of Iraq neither increased nor decreased my liking for their music. (Similarly, while I can’t stand the song Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue, the politics behind it, or some other statements he has made, I still like Toby Keith and I still think How Do You Like Me Now? is one of the best songs released in any genre in the past ten years. But I digress.) Nonetheless, I would be lying if I said that their political stances didn’t increase my appreciation for the Chicks as people. The new single, I’m Not Ready To Make Nice, increases that appreciation. It’s a no-holds barred statement about what they experienced. Here’s a sample from the middle section

    Made my bed and I sleep like a baby
    No regrets and I don’t mind saying
    It’s a sad sad story when a mother will teach her
    Daughter that she ought to hate a perfect stranger

    And how in the world can the words that I said
    Send somebody so over the edge
    That they’d write me a letter saying that I better
    Shut up and sing or my life will be over?

    I’m not ready to make nice
    I’m not ready to back down
    I’m still mad as hell and I don’t have time
    To go round and round and round

    Click over to MSN and listen to the song here. It’s not very countryish – not countryish at all, if you ask me.

    Things That Make You Go Hmmm

    How can Yahoo have a link in their sports section to full coverage of the Iditarod but have nothing about the NCAA Wrestling Championships? I would think that interest in the latter would clearly outweigh interest in the former.

    Oh, and Go Hawks!

    New Links - Get Yer New Links Here

    I’ve added a sports link column, and put Deadspin, SportsBiz, and Sportszilla in there. Also removed some links (Dark Horizons, Fourth Rail), added some (Comics Should Be Good), and updated others (24 Insider). Finally, I added a contests column for Filmwise and Screenplay, two very fun movie games. Filmwise takes screen shots from movies, removes the people, and then you have to guess what movie the shot is from. Screenplay has five different quizzes that update each week. My name at Screenplay, coincidentally enough, is Dweeze, so you can see how I score each week. If you sign up, post your name in the comments so we can track everyone's scores.

    (Note: I really did update the links, though Blogger isn't being very accomodating about it right now.)

    Murphy's Law

    So, I finally get some spare time where I can write some posts. And what happens? Blogger goes down.

    And not in the good way.

    Tuesday, March 14, 2006

    Obligatory Work Is Heavy Right Now Post

    That's why posting has been light. And fluffy.