Monday, December 31, 2007
"Half of Florida State's front seven was suspended..."
Okay. So one guy was only half suspended? Does that mean he gets to dress and take the field, but he can't make any effort once he's out there?
Later on we got this.
"I think a lot of people don't remember what it was like to be in college, and many of us, had we gotten the opportunity to cheat on a final exam, might have taken it."
All right. Is there something you're trying to tell us? Something that's eaten at your conscience for years and years?
Monday, December 24, 2007
Friday, December 07, 2007
The commercial starts out with Ron telling us about the evils of NAFTA. So far, so good, Republican candidate traveling down fear of brown people road. But then Ron starts to go, well, most people would call it going astray, but Ron probably calls it going to the point.
"There are powerful interests trying to eliminate the Mexican and Canadian borders." What the fuck? Seriously, what the fuck? Care to name, oh, ONE of these powerful interests? I'm not saying there isn't anyone in this country who doesn't wish for the elimination of the Mexican and Canadian borders, but I'm betting the people who do are also wishing for the UFOs to land and bring us peace and prosperity. It is not a position that sane people take, certainly not publicly. Powerful interests. Powwwwwerful interests! Can someone get Ron his meds, stat?
"The NAFTA Superhighway will extend from Mexico to Canada, going right through Iowa, destroying 4,000 family farms." Uhm, Ron? Interstate 35 already goes from pretty damn close to the Texas-Mexico border to pretty damn close to the Minnesota-Canada border, running right through Iowa. And quite frankly, most of us are glad it does. As for the family farms - well, I haven't looked the number up, but my gut instinct tells me there probably aren't 4,000 family farms left in the state. After all, with 99 counties, there would have to be over 40 family farms per county to get to four thousand family farms in the state, and that seems incredibly unlikely. Further, even if there were some new north-south highway being planned to cut across the state (and there isn't), it is doubtful that it would cross through all 99 counties. At most - a very unlikely most, but one I'm choosing for ease of mathematics - it crosses 20 counties. (Interestate 35 crosses 10 as it goes across Iowa; the Avenue of the Saints crosses 13). There would have to be 200 family farms per county for such a road to claim 4,000 family farms. There probably isn't one county in the state that has over 200 family farms in it, let alone 20.
Wikipedia shows that there is a proposed state-wide highway in Texas which will result in the creation of several traffic corridors that run from Mexico all the way to - you guessed it - Oklahoma. Oklahoma. No talk of this running to Canada, or even Iowa, but hey - when you're a paranoid batshit crazy asshat it doesn't take much to get your imagination running.
So Republicans, please make Ron Paul your presidential candidate. Or Rudy. Or Mitt. Or Fred. Or Huckabee. Or - well, actually, the whole Republican field is filled with nothing but second stringers, losers, and has beens, and at this point in time, at least, everyone of them would get waxed in the general election. But Ron Paul would probably be the most fun.
Friday, November 30, 2007
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Thursday, November 08, 2007
Across The Universe - see it. Now.
It's a movie - a musical that, like Moulin Rouge and Singin' In The Rain before it, uses pre-existing, not original, music for the musical numbers. However, unlike those two films, the music is all taken from one group - the Beatles. In fact, the more I think about it, the best way to describe it would be to say the movie takes place in the universe of the Beatles catalog.
The main characters (and many of the minor ones) all take their names from characters in Beatles' songs. Our lead is Jude, a young Liverpudian shipbuilder who comes to the U.S. to find his father, a U.S. soldier stationed in England during WWII. While here he meets Max (Maxwell), Max's sister Lucy, and several others who all make their way to New York City. Some of the Beatles connections are obvious - we are introduced to a character named Prudence, and yes Dear Prudence is eventually one of the songs. On the other hand, though we see Max at one point banging on a fan with a big silver hammer, that song never appears. Some of the other Beatles connections are not so obvious, or at least force you to be paying attention. Jude's girlfriend in the opening scenes when he is still in Liverpool is named Molly. Near the close of the movie, Jude has returned to Liverpool and is once more working on the docks. Molly, has married Jude's co-worker Desmond. Desmond's name isn't mentioned at the start of the movie; Molly's name isn't mentioned at the end of the movie.
The film is set in the mid- to late 60s (though the timeline is a little loose and, ultimately, not that important to the tale) with events that mirror the 60s in the real universe. One of the best things about the film is how those events are presented in a way that makes it impossible not to relate them to our current world situation, yet at no time is the viewer hit over the head with that connection. It's just there. (As Ebert says in his review "It's not political, which means it's political to it's core.")
The performances are first-rate. The main cast is mostly unknowns, with Evan Rachel Wood being the biggest name among the leads. The leads do almost all of the singing as well, and they do it quite well, especially when you take into account that many of the musical performances used in the film were recorded live on set, a rarity in a time when most film musical performances are recorded in perfect recording situations and then dubbed in. There are three guest appearances that are absolutely perfect. Joe Cocker sings Come Together as three different characters - a homeless street singer, a pimp, and a hippie. Bono shows up as a Ken Kesey pastiche and sings I Am The Walrus. Eddie Izzard is Mr. Kite, singing, well, Being For The Benefit Of Mr. Kite. (Bono also sings Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds over the closing credits.)
The film is beautifully photographed, with a bright mix of colors and several extended pyschedelic sequences (one after the characters drink the Kesey characters red Kool-Aid). It's also spectacularly choreographed. The director, Julie Taymor (director of several broadway productions, including The Lion King), does most of the choreography herself.
The songs are used wonderfully; some are presented in a straightforward manner much like most musicals. For instance, I've Just Seen A Face takes place in a bowling alley right after Jude meets Lucy, and it could almost be a music video, it's such a literal translation of the song. On the other hand, the aforementioned I Am The Walrus begins with the main cast having just drunk the acid, slowly transforms into a psychedelic dream, melts into all the characters on the Kesey-esque bus as merry pranksters, and ends at the farm of a Doctor Geary.
The arrangements also vary, from straightforward versions that are remarkably faithful to the originals to radical reinventions that bring out meaning you might not have seen before. One of the best examples (I was reluctant to use it, as Ebert mentions it in his review, but it is one of the best examples) is I Want To Hold Your Hand. That song takes on a poignancy, a deep sadness, when the hand belongs to a person the singer can never hold hands with.
Like most musicals, it's not a film for literalists. It's a film that forces the viewer to commit, to relinquish themselves, to almost become a part of the film in much the same way that live theatre forces audiences to become part of the proceedings. (Yeah, that's vague - you either know what I mean or don't, and if you don't, I can't explain it any better than that.) I can't think of a film I've seen recently that had me smiling as much, that hit me as hard emotionally in the painful spots, that had me cheering inside as much that the two main characters would get together while still having doubts about whether or not they would. In spirit and energy it reminds me most of Hair, though in execution it is a far different animal. As I left the theatre I immediately set out to make two purchases - the Across the Universe soundtrack and a copy of Hair on DVD. I found the former (there were two versions, a 16-song version with selected songs and a 31-song two-disc version with all the songs from the film, which is the version I got and have listened to more or less non-stop since buying), couldn't find the latter.
I would assume that if the film is still playing here in small-town Iowa then it shouldn't be difficult to find anywhere bigger. I intend to see it again this weekend. So you should see it. Now.
So see it. Now.
Film Ick Review and Essay
Sunday, November 04, 2007
Saturday, November 03, 2007
Friday, November 02, 2007
Monday, October 22, 2007
Now, I realize that McDonald's doesn't really pay you friendly grandmother types to sweep the floor. You're there to be friendly, to make sure the customers are enjoying their individual McDonaldland experience. So engaging people in conversation is your real job. However, an important component of that job is realizing that there are some people who do not want to be engaged in conversation, particularly after you've semi-insulted them. I'm personally content sharing my McDonaldland experience only with my son, thank you, and don't feel the need to discuss the weather or the meal or our day with a total stranger. That you weren't able to figure this out, even after I replied to your offer to get us anything else with a dismissive "No thanks, we don't need anything from you" (and yes, it was dismissive), that you still tried to engage us in conversation after that, would suggest that you aren't that good at your job. So next time we come in, think twice about coming up to engage us in conversation.
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Directing this show for Dreamwell is easily among my list of favorite things I've done in the theatre. (The only thing I would rank higher was acting as Mr. Peachum in Threepenny. Being Elwood Dodd in Harvey rounds out my top three.) The cast was great, a true all-star team, and it was a blast to work with them and watch them and help them (not that they needed it). Here's a link to some photos from the production.
Monday, October 15, 2007
Okay, blogger is apparently having a problem with uploading images right now. So I'll get those later. In the meantime, it's enough to post to say
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ETHAN!
Friday, October 05, 2007
You know, I can understand that this is probably the death-knell for Joensy's, but this is funny nonetheless:
Joens initially denied his restaurant had roaches, according to the report. Weber pointed out live roaches to which Brian Joens said he could not see them, according to the report. It wasn't until a box was moved and several roaches scrambled down the wall the Joens admitted to seeing them, the report stated.
"Roaches? We ain't got no roaches here!" pause "Oh, those roaches!"
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Of course, eaten by Big Bird is a better fate than what Bert is seemingly doing to this dog.
Moving on from Sesame Street, let's look at the Star Wars selections. Yoda and Leia are annual classics - and look how happy those pups are!
Thursday, September 13, 2007
These incidents have carried on into adulthood. I've had cuts, bruises, burns, broken bones. I've had stitches and casts. I almost choked to death in a restaurant kitchen when I was refilling a water softener and my tie got in the way of the rush of softener salt. And let's not get started on things that could have proved dangerous but somehow didn't. Like the time in high school when a group of us tried to see who could get the best-looking stunt man roll of the hood of a (slowly) moving car. My oldest nephew actually broke some bones doing that.
So maybe it isn't that those worries are an aspect of parenthood for anyone. Maybe I'm just worried that E will turn out to be as accident-prone as myself. Here's hoping he isn't.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Sorry. Got carried away. Anyway, a new link I want to point out. Matt's started a blog devoted to the Iowa City theatre scene called, appropriately enough, The Iowa City Theatre Blog. I'll be posting there from time to time.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Sunday, September 02, 2007
Friday, August 31, 2007
And we'll see if this uploads, but the camera even takes digital video. (Note: The video was huge - 37 M - and after an hour of trying to get it to load, I gave up. But it looks great.)
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
If the light turns yellow and the rear tires of your car are already in the intersection, you don't have to stop. Indeed, at that point it's probably for the best that you keep going forward, because the person behind you waiting at the light has probably A: seen the light turn yellow, B: seen your car in the intersection, C: assumed that you weren't some sort of idiot who was going to hit the brakes and back up out of the intersection and therefore D: gunned it in order to make it through the yellow light, thus resulting in a near collision.
The Guy Who Almost Rammed Your Car This Afternoon
So do I, Rachel Ray.
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Iowa City police arrested a man Thursday after trying to steal two Angus ribeye steaks from the meat cooler at John's Grocery at 401 E. College St.
But the defendant, Earl Scott Surette, 47, of North Liberty didn't just try to walk out with the steaks. According to police, an employee at John's saw Surette stick the two steaks down his pants and walk out the front door without paying.
Police reports state Surette had red, bloodshot and watery eyes, slurred speech and smelled of alcohol. He also had an open container of alcohol and "directed profanity at officers." The police report also states Surette had "problems with judgment."
Problems with judgment. Good thing that's not a crime.
Monday, August 13, 2007
Oh yeah, I had just been punted from my job. What have you been doing since then, Dweeze, you're all wondering. My, you're a nosy bunch. But I'll tell you anyway.
As for the job search - well, let's call it more of a job scan. I haven't really put much effort into it yet, for a variety of reasons. I did just finish (last Friday) a temporary assignment at my old employer. It wasn't in the department I was in when I got canned, but the department I was in 10 years ago. It was strange doing work I used to do, work I was good at though didn't really love. It was also strange working with people I worked with a decade ago. Indeed, aside from three people who were new, everyone else was still there from when I was there last. That struck me, and continues to strike me, as rather bizarre. It's an operations department, the people are all very smart, and only a few have left for greener pastures. The rest have stayed.
It was very nice and yet very wierd. It was nice because it offered me some small shred of dignity after getting tossed out unceremoniously after 15 years. Nice because of the number of people who stopped me to tell me how shocked they had been that I got let go. I got told several times that "If you could get re-organized out, no one is safe." Very nice words to hear. It was weird, in addition to the situation described above, because I feld sadder leaving last Friday than I did the day I was canned, and I feel emptier today than I did the first day after I got canned. I'd say it was because this time I don't think I'll ever be back, but I didn't think I would ever be back last time. No, it's because when I left last time I was in shock, and I stayed in shock for a week or so. No shock this time. Just the sensation of being unemployed.
Still, it has it's benefits. Chief among them is the fact that later today I will see Ethan for the first time since March. He'll be here for a few months, and me not working means I can spend much more time with him than I could if I were employed. So that's a benefit, and I'm sure I'll have more to say about it later.
Another benefit has come healthwise. I was going to make this another post, but that was a couple of months ago. Shortly before I was let go, I had finally decided to go to the doctor. I hate going to the doctor, but I was having pains in the chestal area, and I don't want to ever catch Landru in the "Major Cardiac Event" category. This, however, wasn't enough to get me to go to the doctor. The tipping point came during AED-Defibrulator training, when I realized that I didn't want to be a statistic. The doctor did an EKG, and the heart was normal. No worries there. My weight, on the other hand, as well as my blood sugar, cholesterol, and blood pressure, were extremely high.
I've been put on medication for the blood pressure and cholesterol and I'm watching the diet and exercising for the blood sugar and weight. I'm down over 20 pounds in two months time, and the blood pressure has dropped considerably as well. As much as I want to credit what I've done, it's more what I haven't done - without vending machines to go to, I go all day without snacking. I briefly shot up the first week of the temp assignment, then forced myself into a strict no-sweets policy during the day, and I'm back almost to where I was when I began the assignment. So that's a positive. I had been at 283, I had gotten to 258, and right now I'm at 262. My goal by the end of the year is 220. Ambitious, yes, but worth it if I can get there. For one thing, those chest pains? Gone. I don't know if it was related to carrying the extra weight around, but they're gone.
One other positive thing. The casino in Riverside is having a $100,000 guarantee tournament Labor Day weekend. Seats are $600, or you can win a seat in a $30 qualifier tournament. Guess who won a seat? Yep. There were over 70 people in the tourney, 6 people won seats, and I was one of them. Later that week I went to a cash tourney, made the final table, took tenth place, and won $65 from a $30 entry. In three trips, to three different tourneys, I've made the final table twice. Not bad if I do say so myself.
Anyway, that makes for a nice catch-up post. I'll do my best to keep posting. Or posting more regularly. Or keeping regular. Something like that.
Friday, July 06, 2007
Bell Bottom Blues
Why Does Love Got To Be So Sad?
and, of course, Layla
Special Derek and the Dominos related bonus song:
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
Last Wednesday I got reorganized out of my position. I'm getting a very nice severance package - almost 15 weeks - plus full benefits during that time. It came as a shock - I was told at 2:00 pm that I had to be out by the end of the day. I was repeatedly reassured that it had nothing to do with job performance, that my job functions were being absorbed elsewhere. Still, though, it would be more understandable if it were performance-related. I mean, I gave 15 years of what, in the balance, can only be called very high-quality service to the company, and I get dumped without warning with a two hour window to get out? That's a shock. I wasn't even given a chance to try to find another position, even though I was assured that I was welcome to apply to get back into the company. On the other hand, who would want to return to a company that punted them that unceremoniously?
So, I find myself at a crossroads. No, not this crossroads.
Or this one
Or even this one
But a crossroads in my life as to what to do next. Fifteen weeks of severance means I'm not in a rush to find something, though if I could, it would mean double income for awhile. And that's always nice. And I haven't had a vacation in forever, so I've been taking it easy the past few days. But the hunt for the next phase of my life needs to begin in earnest soon. Yes, I'm waiting for my real life to begin.
I'm not ruling out anything, including moving to try to put our family back together in what would probably be our last chance of making things work. So if anyone has any suggestions, feel free to pass them on. In the meantime, as you can tell if you read the post below, I'm making nice headway on my "to be read" pile.
Coming Soon in the next installment of "So Where Were We?": Dweeze goes to the doctor and finds out he has high blood pressure, elevated cholesterol, and a troublesome blood sugar level.
YOU GO TO HELL! YOU GO TO HELL AND YOU DIE!
Sure, I owned them all. I had a nice box set of the first five books and a trade paperback of the sixth, but other than an aborted attempt to read the first one with Drew a couple of years ago, nothing. I had told myself I would wait until the final book was about to be released, then read them.
So I waited. Finally, getting a touch nervous about the fact that the last book is due in a few weeks and I might not get them all read by then, I figured I better get started. I picked up the first one Sunday and haven't looked back since.
It's Wednesday, four days later, and I'm a couple hundred pages into the fourth book. I shouldn't just have everything read by the time the final book comes out, I might have everything read before the next movie comes out.
By the way, I haven't seen any of the movies, either. At this point, I don't know what my course of action will be in regards to those, whether I should wait til all seven movies are released and then watch them all, or get through with all the books and then watch the movies. Tough call, that.
It's funny. Part of me is pissed at myself for not reading these before. They're quite good, quite quick reads. On the other hand, reading them all back to back shows more clearly, I think, how skilled Rowling is at putting all of the chess pieces on the board, not just in the book in which a particular action takes place but in the series as a whole. It shows more starkly how minor items in one book come into their own in a later volume. I can't put them down, and look forward to making it through Half-Blood Prince and then getting the final piece of the puzzle.
A very hearty four paws up.
Employee: What kind of shake sir?
Customer: Uhm. Uhm. Do you mean flavor?
Employee: Yes sir. What flavor of shake.
Customer: Oh. Uhm. Uhm.
Employee: We have chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, and right now banana.
Customer: Uhm. Uhm. What were they again?
Employee: They're listed on the menu board right beside you sir.
Customer: Uhm. Okay. Uhm. Just give me the first one.
Employee: Chocolate sir?
This has been another edition of True Tales of the Drive-through!
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Friday, June 22, 2007
(Note: Moved to the top because I just CAN'T STOP WATCHING THIS!)
01 Lawyers, Guns & Money 02 Detox Mansion 03 Boom Boom Mancini 04 Johnny Strikes Up The Band 05 Roland The Headless Thompson Gunner 06 Banter 07 Jungle Work 08 Accidentally Like A Martyr 09 Band Intros 10 Sentimental Hygiene 11 The Envoy
01 Veracruz 02 Carmelita 03 Play It All Night Long 04 Ain't That Pretty At All 05 Reconsider Me 06 Mohammed's Radio 07 Werewolves Of London 08 Poor Poor Pitiful Me 09 Excitable Boy 10 Desperados Under The Eaves 11 Jeannie Needs A Shooter
I recently purchased Crystal Zevon’s memoir of Warren and two of the three Rhino CDs, Stand in the Fire and The Envoy. Remarkably, it is the first time either has had a major CD release. Even more remarkably, both are as good as I remember them being. Indeed, The Envoy is better than I recall. So without further adieu, some Warren Zevon You Tube.
Lawyers, Guns, and Money
Jeannie Needs A Shooter
Keep Me In Your Heart
Friday, June 15, 2007
Monday, June 11, 2007
Friday, June 08, 2007
Monday, June 04, 2007
Friday, June 01, 2007
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Friday, May 25, 2007
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Friday, May 18, 2007
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Friday, May 11, 2007
Friday, May 04, 2007
Breaking Us In Two
It’s Different For Girls
You Can’t Get What You Want (Til You Know What You Want)
And the quality is bad, but a Joe Jackson You Tube would not be complete without
Is She Really Going Out With Him?
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
Monday, April 30, 2007
"You can either try to find a kielbasa this big or get two smaller kielbasas, but either way, make sure they have a casing covering them."
"Most of the big appetites in my family belong to the women, but sometimes my brother can keep up with us."
Woman 'sprayed cop with breast milk'
An 18-year-old woman is due in court today accused of assaulting a police officer with breast milk. Felicha Marin, of Palmerston Road, in Acton, was charged with shoplifting and assault after being arrested on March 29.
It is alleged she was detained for trying to steal shoes from Lizard, in Hill Street, Richmond. After being arrested for theft she sprayed an officer with milk from her right breast. She is due to appear before at Richmond Magistrates' Court today.
So many questions. First off, does this mean The Benny Hill Show was a documentary? What made her think this would work? Wouldn’t you have to have great aim to succeed? Does she practice a lot when she’s alone? Will competitive target breast milk spraying be a new Olympic sport? So many questions, so few answers.
Friday, April 27, 2007
Count On Me trailer
University of Iowa police took a student into custody for questioning Thursday after he wore a ski mask to class at Macbride Hall and placed UI officials on alert for the second time this week.
According to a UI news release: It was about noon when a student entered Macbride Auditorium wearing a hooded jacket. He sat down and removed the hood but left the ski mask on. Another student called police.
So, a week and a half after a shooting spree on a college campus, you decide to go into a large lecture hall wearing a ski mask that covers your face and refuse to take it off? That’s not going to freak anyone, nope, not at all.
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
An Open Letter To The Chick-Fil-A Employee Working The Register Closest To Panda Express Around 1:00 P.M. On Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Monday, April 23, 2007
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Yesterday, some members of the sports blogosphere decided to change the blog highlights to the colors of Virginia Tech. They did this, so they said, to honor the dead and to show support for the living. They did this to proclaim, as one blog said, that while they may have gone to different colleges, for yesterday, they were Hokies.
Now, I'm not feeling all that fond of the sports blogosphere lately anyway. There's only so much overt homophobia, implicit misogyny, and implied racism one intelligent adult can take. But this particular gesture struck me as even more, well, crass than the sports blogosphere usually is. And believe me, that's awfully crass.
Don't get me wrong - I have nothing but sympathy for those who were directly or indirectly affected by Monday's events. But the 32 people murdered on Monday weren't the only people murdered last week. They weren't the only people who died last week. They weren't the only victims of a horrendous act last week. Further, the others who died last week were no less worthy of being honored, their families no less in need of support, then those at Virginia Tech. So where's the show of solidarity for those folks? Where's the proud proclamations on their behalf?
That's why I find the gesture so crass. When your only connection is tangential at best - "Hey! I'm in college too!" or "Hey! I'm a human being too!" - it's not about supporting or honoring. It's about co-opting the grief of others to show how wonderful you yourself are. It's about proclaiming to the world that "I am a good, kind, caring person." It's self-serving, not supportive, and it's offensive.
Friday, April 20, 2007
Your Flag Decal Won’t Get You Into Heaven Anymore – John Prine
Fortunate Son – John Fogerty
I Feel Like I’m Fixin’ To Die Rag – Country Joe McDonald and the Fish
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Sunday, April 15, 2007
Prince Namor scoffs at your never-ending pool
I'm just about to switch to another station when, in the middle of the testimonials, a woman says
"It's just like having a treadmill in your basement!"
A 15-foot, $5,000 swimming pool is just like having a treadmill? Except for the whole, well, almost $5,000 cheaper and staying dry thing, maybe. Maybe.
I mean, is that really the pitch that's going to convince a skeptical buyer that the never-ending pool is for them? "Well, I was doubtful, but, man, if it's just like that treadmill I could buy for a couple hundred, I'm in!"
I went into the wrong field.
Friday, April 13, 2007
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Certainly right up there among the other former faculty members – also in the conversation would be John Cheever and Philip Roth. However, everyone knows, or at least it used to be that everyone knows (knew?), exactly where the Vonnegut house was on the north side of Iowa City. I have no idea where Roth or Cheever used to live.
Expanding the conversation to people who attended the Writer’s Workshop, you’ve got Raymond Carver, John Irving (who does a hell of a book read, if you ever get the chance), and Flannery O’Connor who can be included in the same conversation as Vonnegut. Much as I might like T. Coraghessan Boyle or W.P. Kinsella, I can’t toss them in there. Same with Jane Smiley.
So that leaves Cheever, Roth, Carver, Irving, and O’Connor as people associated with the Writer’s Workshop in the same league as Vonnegut. I think you have to hand Kurt the title of greatest writer associated with the Iowa Writer’s Workshop. In fact, if it weren’t for a guy by the name of Tennessee Williams, you’d have to give him the title of greatest writer associated with the University of Iowa. But I’m gonna give that one to Mr. Williams.
Now, this is something that is not in dispute. The base temperature of the planet has been gradually (or not so gradually, in the overall scheme of things) increasing. Check out this graph.
Still, because people want to ignore that we as humans could be the primary cause of the increase, or that we as humans can’t do anything to reverse the trend, people will pick up on the name of the phenomena and try to belittle any way they can. Snow in April? Guess that proves there’s no such thing as global warming! (Of course, to go that route one must ignore the fact that we didn’t get any measurable snow until the last week in January, and ignore the fact that there were days in April colder than it was on Christmas or New Year’s. But the ability to ignore facts is one of the strengths of the “there’s no such thing as global warming” crowd, so this shouldn’t be a problem.) But how do we get around this problem?
I propose a simple solution. Instead of referring to it by a name that is a description of the phenomena taking place, global warming, let’s call it Freaky-As-Shit Weather Patterns Caused By An Increase In The Planet’s Base Temperature! That way, we’re describing the result, not the phenomena, and we make it a lot tougher for the anti-science crowd to dismiss.
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
The deck has 30 presets, though I have been using only ten. I’ve mapped out all the presets I want to use, however, and will get them established. One of my favorite presets is Channel 12, X Country, the home of Alt Country (or Progressive Country or Americana, whichever name you prefer).
(My second favorite preset is Channel 7, XM 70s. It’s like a radio station straight from my junior high, high school, and college days. It’s great to hear the songs I loved from those days; it’s even fun to hear songs I hated. For instance, I couldn’t stand BTO – Bachman Turner Overdrive – back in the day. Now, I find myself singing along with Takin’ Care Of Business or You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet if they come on, proving the old adage, it might be crap, but it’s my crap.)
Anyway, I’m driving home yesterday and hit the preset for Channel 12, where I am treated to the Ricky Skaggs-Bruce Hornsby bluegrass version of (wait for it)
Rick James’ Super Freak
(Listen to a snippet here.) This immediately becomes the second best bluegrass version of a funk/hip hop song, the best being, the Gourds’ version of Snoop Dogg’s Gin and Juice. Which I tried, but failed, to insert into this post. It failed because the link where the song was changed everytime, which mean the link I was directing the MP3 player to was never right after first usage. If I can figure it out, I'll re-edit.
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Along those lines, the Chick-Fil-A opening at Coral Ridge Mall on April 19th will give free food for a year to the first 100 customers they get next week. Chick-Fil-A defines free food for a year as one combo meal a week for 52 weeks. They will begin forming the line on Wednesday, April 18th, at 7:30 am.
Now, I am fond of Chick-Fil-A. I was very happy to see one was going to be opening. But waiting a day and a half for one combo meal a week for 52 weeks? Not me. That’s not who I am; that’s not how I roll.
Friday, April 06, 2007
Thursday, April 05, 2007
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Subject: Trash Compactor
From: Death Star Detention Level Janitor email@example.com
Date: A Long Time Ago 7:46 PM
To: Nardo Pace firstname.lastname@example.org
Hey, kid. That trash compactor you designed is up and running and I've got to say it looks great. Lots of grime, a magnetically sealed hatch that can't be opened from the inside, a tentacled garbage creature that practically serves no purpose at all. It's got everything a salty old janitor could ever want.
One thing, though. It takes an awful long time to flatten garbage. I'm talking a minute or more, depending on how many flimsy poles I toss in there. If our capital ships can boogie at faster than light speeds, why can't we make a few walls slide toward one another at a speed that outpaces a Hutt's leisurely stroll?
Monday, April 02, 2007
Case in point: Last week, Senator John McCain (R-Pandering) declared that the recent troop surge was a success and told radio host and degenerate gambler William Bennett (R-Hypocrisy) that there are neighborhoods in Baghdad where “you and I could walk” today. McCain took quite a beating for those comments, and to prove his detractors wrong, he went to Baghdad and took a walk yesterday, afterwards stating at a press conference that his visit was proof that you could walk freely in some areas of Baghdad.
Here’s the thing. McCain was joined on his little stroll by 100 American soldiers, three Blackhawk helicopters, and two Apache gunships.
John. I’ve got some straight talk for you. (Ha. No one else will use that joke. And if they do, they owe me royalties!) If you need 10 soldiers and one helicopter to accompany you on a walk, you aren’t walking freely. If you need 100 soldiers and five helicopters, then you’re putting American lives at risk to prove a talking point that was immediately disproved by the fact that you needed 100 soldiers and five helicopters to make the walk.
He sure looked cute in the bulletproof vest, though.