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    Monday, April 25, 2005


    Jo at Major Disaster asks why, if Cardinal Ratzinger didn't want to be Pope (see article here) didn't he (Cardinal Ratzinger) just say no. Well, when God calls, you can't say "No". I think the best you can manage is to say you aren't there or you're busy and you'll call back later, but if you do that, God eventually calls back and sooner or later you'll wind up talking to him. I mean, God can make any name show up on your caller ID, so you can't avoid him that way. The phone will ring, and the caller ID will show "Salma Hayek", and you'll answer the phone, and a voice sounding just like Salma's will ask for you by name, and you'll say "This is he" and then the voice will switch to God's and he'll say "Punk'd" and "I knew you were home" and "You guys playing cards tonight?" and "You want to be Pope?" and you'll end up inviting him over to play poker even though you don't want to and then he'll lecture you about your card play but lose and not think twice about the irony of that. So yeah, you might as well just answer God when he calls and agree to be Pope and let him play cards and hope he goes out early.

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