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    Friday, March 30, 2007

    You Tube Fun - Dixie Chicks

    Top Of The World



    Lubbock Or Leave It



    Godspeed



    Goodbye Earl


    Thursday, March 29, 2007

    You Know What's Weird?

    You know what’s weird? Turning on MSNBC just before Countdown comes on, during the last few minutes of Hardball, and seeing a guy you went to law school with talking to Chris Matthews. Actually, “went to law school with” doesn’t go anywhere near far enough – there are plenty of people I went to law school with I never spoke with or knew personally. So let’s make that seeing a guy you went to law school with, a guy who was in your accelerated program class, a guy you went out drinking with fairly regularly, a guy who quarterbacked the flag football team you played on, a guy who came up with the idea of going to your ex-girlfriend’s house the night you broke up and demanding that she give the flowers you gave her to try to smooth things over back or at least reimburse you the cost of the flowers and was convincing enough about it that a bunch of you got in a car to go over and do it before deciding it was a bad idea after all, to see that guy, who is now, apparently, a fairly famous Democratic consultant, talking with Chris Matthews. That’s weird.

    Cross-posted at DTV.

    Tuesday, March 27, 2007

    My Friend Ethan

    Somewhere along the way, Ethan started referring to things as "My friend" as in "My friend Grandma" or "My friend Magic" (or "My friend Gunner", depending on which dog he was talking about) or my favorite, "My friend Daddy". Well, yesterday I left him and his mother at Midway airport in Chicago, after driving him in and spending a couple of days together as a family again. And now, I sit here trying not to cry, thinking about the fact that my friend Ethan is not with me, and I won't see him for another four months or so.

    So much will change in that time, so many changes I won't see take place. In the last few weeks he had taken to opening his car door himself, and he could pull the seat belt all the way to the latch (though he wasn't able yet to figure out how to latch it). By the time I see him again he will be able to, and he won't need me to do that for him anymore, just as there are a dozen other things he doesn't need me to do for him anymore.

    I miss him so much. It's amazing to feel both totally empty and yet filled with sorrow. I guess sorrow has no calories. I miss my little boy, who won't be quite so little the next time I see him. I miss how he affects others - as we were walking into a restaurant in Chicago a woman walking out saw him, smiled, and then said "He is going to break a lot of hearts when he grows up." I miss the fact that his favorite thing in the world was to jump on me, oftentimes catching me completly off-guard with a pounce on the stomach. I miss my friend Ethan. I miss my son Ethan.

    I've been quiet the last couple of weeks as the time came to say goodbye for awhile. I'll probably be quiet for a few more as I readjust to things. (And it's not just me - as I started typing that sentence, I got a call from Lesa - Ethan was missing me and wanted to talk to me. And while he didn't talk, he did listen, and I talked and sang and made him smile. I tell ya, that kid and I are in tune with each other.) But just to prove I'll eventually be okay, I'll leave you with this:

    Friday, March 09, 2007

    You Tube Fun - Bruce Edition

    Several Springsteen vids from a concert at the Hammersmith Odeon in 1975.

    10th Avenue Freezeout



    Spirits In The Night



    Born To Run



    She’s The One



    and of course, Rosalita


    Thursday, March 08, 2007

    Bribe, Scmibe

    You know, part of me thinks this is funny.

    Police took an Iowa City woman to jail for allegedly offering an officer a $17 bribe Wednesday morning.

    While at the Summit Bar about 1:10 a.m., Iowa City Police said officers asked Amber Breanne Gordon, 19, of 801 Crosspark Ave. Apt 2B, for her ID. Gordon gave the officer the ID of another person, passing it off as her own, police said.

    Gordon then asked if she could be let go with a warning, according to police reports. Police told her no, so then Gordon asked if she could give them money to let her go. Later, Gordon said she was "kind of joking" but said if the officer was "down," then she would pay, police said. Police said Gordon told the officer she had between $15 and $20. She actually had $17, police said.

    Bribery is a class D felony punishable by up to five years in prison and a $7,500 fine. She also was cited for unlawful use of another's ID and possession of alcohol under the legal age.


    She offered a bribe of $17 to make it go away, and she directly said she would give the money if the officer was “down”. She’s a moron. And who the fuck says “down”?

    But then we get to this:

    Iowa City Police Sgt. Troy Kelsay said he thinks attempted police bribes happen more frequently than what is charged.

    "This is the way the officer decided to go," he said.


    So, even though the cop had the discretion to do so, even though she was caught dead to rights on two other very serious charges, Officer Hardass decided to bust her on the bribery charge as well. What? Offended that the amount was too low? She may rank high on the moron scale, but Officer Fucktard ranks far higher on the asshole scale.

    Wednesday, March 07, 2007

    New Used Car

    The replacement for the dead 1995 BMW 530i? A 1990 BMW 750i with fewer miles than the 1995 when we got it in 2002. It's in great, great condition - I had it checked out before purchasing, and the price was a reasonable $6,000. Let's face it - the only way I am ever going to afford a $70,000 car is to buy it when it's 17 years old.

    The 7 series is a significantly bigger model than the old car, so those who rode in the old car, and who will probably ride in it again (I'm looking at you, Greenman) will have a lot more room. Which, considering the old car was fairly spacious, is saying a lot. It also has a huge engine - it's a frickin' 12-cylinder! It's also jet black, just like the old car, and has the same basic shape.

    See ya on the road!

    Don't Cry Over Spoilt Milk

    Let me set the scene. Tuesday evening. I'm making supper for Ethan, Spongebob mac and cheese. I've boiled the mac and am getting ready to add the butter, milk, and processed cheese mix. There's a small amount of milk in one gallon at the front of the fridge. Ethan and I both usually drink water for supper, so that last bit has been there for awhile. I grab it, open it, take a quick swig, all without thinking. I'm swallowing before I realize it's sour.

    I look at the expiration date, and it's over a week ago. It's too late to spit it out; it's already down. The taste will linger with me all night, staying with me past my supper, past ice cream, past brushing my teeth. It lingers with me til I get to sleep. But my first thought after drinking it stays with me as well: "I'm glad Ethan didn't taste that." And that, my friends, is to me the essence of parenthood. Being willing to drink the spoiled milk so your children don't have to.

    Friday, March 02, 2007

    Speaking Of Susanna Hoffs: You Tube Fun - Bangles Edition

    Because you can never have enough Bangles. (Thanks to Landru for the inspiration.)

    Walk Like An Egyptian



    Live Walk Like An Egyptian



    If She Knew What She Wants



    Hazy Shade of Winter


    You Say It's Your Birthday

    I was doing some random Wiki reading on Pixar, and in the process tumbled onto the fact that there is a Wiki listing for births by year. Curious to see whether or not they listed me, I searched for 1959, then found the section for 1959 births. Sadly, no listing for Dweeze. There were names I knew I shared a birth year with: Bryan Adams, Rosanna Arquette, Rebecca De Mornay, Magic Johnson, Val Kilmer, John McEnroe, and Aidan Quinn among them. There were people I never knew I shared a birth year with but who I found it extremely cool to share a birth year with, people like Simon Cowell, Vincent D'Onofrio, Susanna Hoffs, Hugh Laurie, Keith Olbermann, David Hyde Pierce (that's uncanny, eh?), and Brian Seitzer. But there was one, extremely disturbing discovery I made there, and that was that I? Am older than Emeril. By 44 days, which means Emeril shares a birthdate with Ethan. Guess I need to teach him to say "Bam!"

    I then proceeded on to the Wiki page for September 1, thinking maybe they had me listed there. I was familiar with many of the people born before me on September 1 - such folks as Edgar Rice Burroughs, Ann Richards, Lily Tomlin, Barry Gibb, and Gloria Estefan. There were others I didn't know, mostly born after me, like Clinton Portis, Zach Thomas, Jason Taylor, and notorious titfucker Brian Bellows. (Note: Language in video not safe for work, children, small animals, or people with common sense. H/T to Deadspin. If the video isn't playing, you can find it at Google Video here.)




    However, I was dismayed to see several names sharing my birthday. Kenny Mayne is on there, and he actually shares my birthdate. Dr. Phil is a September 1 baby, as is Tim Hardaway. But the bad person to share a birthday with king is Mohammed Atta. I'm hoping I don't need to explain who he is; I imagine we're all familiar with his work. There's also not much farther you can go by way of making jokes after putting that fact out there, so if this post feels like it ends a bit abruptly, it's because it does end a bit abruptly.



    Thursday, March 01, 2007

    Things You Don't Expect To See

    I stopped at Target yesterday morning, after I dropped Ethan off at daycare. It was right after they had opened, and hardly any customers were in the store.

    I was looking for a die cast Mater, from the movie Cars. Ethan already has one, but it’s disappeared someplace, and though we spent a good fifteen minutes last night looking for it, we couldn’t find it. I figured it would be much easier to buy a replacement, cause you really need two anyway, then spend more time tonight looking. You might call it laziness, but I call it a good use of $3.44. I also call it lazy.

    So I headed back to toys, but before looking for the Cars cars, decided to look at action figures first. I did this because I always like to see what Toy Story toys are in stock. They are always coming out with new Buzz stuff, but hardly ever any new Woody toys. It’s Ethan’s favorite movie, but although he likes his Buzz Lightyears (of which he has, oh, ten or so different Buzz toys), he likes his Woody better.

    Ladies…

    So I like to go to the action figure aisle for that reason, and not to check out the Marvel Legends line of toys, and certainly not to see if they had the Marvel Legends Planet Hulk figure, which they did, and which was TEH AWESUM!!!!!

    I’m standing there looking at Toy Story toys, and not, as I hope I made clear, TEH ABSOLUTELY AWESUM!!!!! Marvel Legends Planet Hulk figure, when I hear conversation coming from the next aisle. Because of the early hour, I assumed it was employees, until I caught this snippet of conversation.

    Man One: So, what are you looking for?

    Man Two: Hot Wheels 66 Camaro.

    Man One: I thought you already had the ’66 Camaro?

    Man Two: There’s a new paint variant.

    Now, I know what the words “new paint variant” mean. It means there’s a new version of the collectable (toy) and for the true collector, new versions must be obtained. Kinda like the new Marvel Legends Planet Hulk action figure, but obviously not as AWESUM!!!!!

    The conversation registers with me, but I don’t think twice about it. I’m a big time comic book collecting geek myself, and I am understanding and accepting of other people’s collecting geek natures. And face it, I’ve used the comic version of “paint variant” in serious conversation before.

    I move out of the action figure aisle and start looking for the aisle where the Cars die cast cars are located. Coincidentally enough, or maybe obviously enough, they were in the same aisle as the Hot Wheels die cast cars, which just so happened to be the aisle from which the voices were emanating.

    I turn down that aisle, and there, discussing Hot Wheels paint variants, were two men who can only be described as old and grizzly. They were straight out of a central casting prospector casting call. Mid-sixties, white hair and beards, ball caps, workman coats. These were the men talking about Hot Wheels paint variants.

    But that’s not the good part. This is the good part.

    I see several racks of Cars die cast cars. One of the old men has just set several packages of Hot Wheels on the shelf right in front of the Cars cars. When he sees me heading towards the racks, he immediately assumes I am making a move on his Hot Wheels, rushes to them, and snaps at me “These are mine!”

    Yep. I got snarled at by a grizzled old man who was worried I was trying to take his toys. Is there any better way to start your day?

    The other man laughs, dismissively says “He’s just looking at those movie cars”, and then laughs again. I say nothing, looking solely at the movie cars long enough to figure out they didn’t have what I wanted, then head out. But not before I hear one ask the other “You going to Wal-Mart next or getting breakfast?” and ascertaining that they do this every day new stock is put on the shelves which I completely understand, since every Wednesday much lunch time is taken up going down to Daydreams to pick up new comics.

    So rock on, Hot Wheels collecting old man. Rock on.