I was doing some random Wiki reading on Pixar, and in the process tumbled onto the fact that there is a Wiki listing for births by year. Curious to see whether or not they listed me, I searched for 1959, then found the section for 1959 births. Sadly, no listing for Dweeze. There were names I knew I shared a birth year with: Bryan Adams, Rosanna Arquette, Rebecca De Mornay, Magic Johnson, Val Kilmer, John McEnroe, and Aidan Quinn among them. There were people I never knew I shared a birth year with but who I found it extremely cool to share a birth year with, people like Simon Cowell, Vincent D'Onofrio, Susanna Hoffs, Hugh Laurie, Keith Olbermann, David Hyde Pierce (that's uncanny, eh?), and Brian Seitzer. But there was one, extremely disturbing discovery I made there, and that was that I? Am older than Emeril. By 44 days, which means Emeril shares a birthdate with Ethan. Guess I need to teach him to say "Bam!"
I then proceeded on to the Wiki page for September 1, thinking maybe they had me listed there. I was familiar with many of the people born before me on September 1 - such folks as Edgar Rice Burroughs, Ann Richards, Lily Tomlin, Barry Gibb, and Gloria Estefan. There were others I didn't know, mostly born after me, like Clinton Portis, Zach Thomas, Jason Taylor, and notorious titfucker Brian Bellows. (Note: Language in video not safe for work, children, small animals, or people with common sense. H/T to Deadspin. If the video isn't playing, you can find it at Google Video here.)
However, I was dismayed to see several names sharing my birthday. Kenny Mayne is on there, and he actually shares my birthdate. Dr. Phil is a September 1 baby, as is Tim Hardaway. But the bad person to share a birthday with king is Mohammed Atta. I'm hoping I don't need to explain who he is; I imagine we're all familiar with his work. There's also not much farther you can go by way of making jokes after putting that fact out there, so if this post feels like it ends a bit abruptly, it's because it does end a bit abruptly.