Bribe, Scmibe

You know, part of me thinks this is funny.

Police took an Iowa City woman to jail for allegedly offering an officer a $17 bribe Wednesday morning.

While at the Summit Bar about 1:10 a.m., Iowa City Police said officers asked Amber Breanne Gordon, 19, of 801 Crosspark Ave. Apt 2B, for her ID. Gordon gave the officer the ID of another person, passing it off as her own, police said.

Gordon then asked if she could be let go with a warning, according to police reports. Police told her no, so then Gordon asked if she could give them money to let her go. Later, Gordon said she was "kind of joking" but said if the officer was "down," then she would pay, police said. Police said Gordon told the officer she had between $15 and $20. She actually had $17, police said.

Bribery is a class D felony punishable by up to five years in prison and a $7,500 fine. She also was cited for unlawful use of another's ID and possession of alcohol under the legal age.

She offered a bribe of $17 to make it go away, and she directly said she would give the money if the officer was “down”. She’s a moron. And who the fuck says “down”?

But then we get to this:

Iowa City Police Sgt. Troy Kelsay said he thinks attempted police bribes happen more frequently than what is charged.

"This is the way the officer decided to go," he said.

So, even though the cop had the discretion to do so, even though she was caught dead to rights on two other very serious charges, Officer Hardass decided to bust her on the bribery charge as well. What? Offended that the amount was too low? She may rank high on the moron scale, but Officer Fucktard ranks far higher on the asshole scale.