The Importance Of Punctuation

The song Jesus Take The Wheel takes on a lot different meaning if you add an exclamation point after Jesus and wheel. Try saying it.

Jesus! Take the wheel!

Sounds like something from Family Guy’s version of Passion of the Christ 2, doesn’t it?

FYI: Miranda Lambert was Carrie Underwood first, except Miranda writes her own songs, plays her own guitar, is a better singer, and is hotter. Giggity.

Touch A Touch A Touch Me

Here's the thing. I would never have played a touchplay machine if the nervous nellies of the Iowa legislature hadn't decided that the damn things were the source of all evil on the Earth and needed to be removed from all locations post haste. But because the bulk of the early part of the legislation session was spent on this one issue, I decided to play. And it was nothing special, just a variation on a slot machine, the lowest and boringest form of gambling. Did they need to be banned? Nope. Maybe tougher restrictions on placement, but no need for banning.

The interesting thing is, many of the legislators braying the loudest about this are also among those braying the loudest about the need to strengthen Iowa's laws vis emminent domain. That is, those most worried about government's ability to take some one's private property were the one's most willing and most eager to inviolate the private contracts - the private property, if you will - of business owners. Isn't it ironic? Don't you think?

Music For A Tuesday

This? One of my all-time favorite songs. It's one I can listen to over and over again, just set the repeat button and go. Like I am doing right now. Great lyrics, great sax, great guitar. Granted, that applies to a lot of Steely Dan songs. Bodhisattva. Doctor Wu. Everyone's Gone To The Movies. Josie. Peg. Rikki Don't Lose That Number. But my all-time favorite Steely Dan song is this one, My Old School.

I remember the thirty-five sweet goodbyes
When you put me on the Wolverine
Up to Annandale
It was still September
When your daddy was quite surprised
To find you with the working girls
In the county jail
I was smoking with the boys upstairs
When I heard about the whole affair
I said oh no
William and Mary won't do

Well I did not think the girl
Could be so cruel
And I'm never going back
To my old school

Oleanders growing outside her door
Soon they're gonna be in bloom
Up in Annandale
I can't stand her
Doing what she did before
Living like a gypsy queen
In a fairy tale
Well I hear the whistle but I can't go
I'm gonna take her down to Mexico
She said oh no
Guadalajara won't do

Well I did not think the girl
Could be so cruel
And I'm never going back
To my old school

California tumbles into the sea
That'll be the day I go
Back to Annandale
Tried to warn you
About Chino and Daddy Gee
But I can't seem to get to you
Through the U.S. Mail
Well I hear the whistle but I can't go
I'm gonna take her down to Mexico
She said oh no
Guadalajara won't do

Well I did not think the girl
Could be so cruel
And I'm never going back
To my old school

My Bracket Was Gone

With apologies to the Pretenders

I looked in at Yahoo
But my bracket was gone
There was no Wisconsin
There was no MSU
Indiana had disappeared
All my favorite picks
My bracket had been pulled down
Reduced to empty pages
Cough, choke, way to go Iowa

Well I went back to Yahoo
But my bracket was gone
I read all the game scores
I had few teams left
I was stunned and amazed
My careful picks
Slowly swirled past
Like water in the toilet
Cough, choke, way to go Illini

I went back to Yahoo
But my pretty bracket
Had been torn down the middle
By college teams that had no pride
The teams of the Big Ten
Had been replaced by other squads
And sadness filled the air
From gyms to dorm halls
Cough, choke, state university of Ohio

Blame Canada

I'm in the office on a Sunday, having been here since 9:00 am, on an all-day (8-hour) conference call for a bid for a contract with the Canadian government, and we're already an hour behind schedule, and I can't imagine we're going to pick up time, indeed I am certain we will continue to lose time, and I've got a kernel of popcorn stuck in my teeth from seeing V for Vendetta last night which I will try to review tomorrow - the movie, not the popcorn, because who would review popcorn? - and it's really annoying me right now - the popcorn kernel, not the movie, which was actually good though not great - and I'm trying to get at it with a toothpick, and we're partnering with a couple of Canadian firms so the accents on the call are rather amusing at times, but all in all I can think of a lot of things I would rather be doing, and we're almost at the point where we are going to review the section I storyboarded myself, though I have to stay on because I am the proposal manager on this effort so I have to hear comments on all of our (and when I say our, I mean my company's) sections, and those sections are spread throughout the document, and maybe I can head home and do the rest of the call from there though it will be touch cause the boys will want to be talking, and it's weird to look out my window to the front parking lot and see a car pull up every now and then and see some other unlucky soul who has to be working on a Sunday morning come in, and it sucks to think that there are almost six more weeks on this bid, and I never knew that Canada used the term aboriginals to describe native groups, and I almost coughed right then without hitting mute first, and again we're almost at my section but the main commenters keep talking about the section right before mine, and I wonder if this post has gotten really annoying yet for you the home reader, and did I mention we are an hour off schedule in fact at this point we are an hour and fifteen minutes behind schedule, and I can't believe that the only comment I got was that I didn't get into enough detail on my storyboard because the reason I didn't go into more detail is because it is a fucking storyboard and storyboards are supposed to be in a bullet-point outline format that gives reviewers an indication of the sort of detail - DETAIL - you will write about when you actually write the section and perhaps that is the reason why I didn't spell out the acronyms I used and my fucking God how can we have been at this for almost three hours and still have covered ONLY two sections that are ONLY worth 4% of the total fucking score possible on this bid and now we just went through a section that is worth 20% of the total response in 20 minutes. ARRRRGGGHHHHHHH!H!!!!!H!H!H!H!H!HH!

The Chicks Are Alright

The Dixie Chicks have a new album coming out in May. (Does anyone even call them albums anymore? Is that a word that automatically dates you? New CD? New release? Anyway…) The first single was released to the Web yesterday, and it’s great. Absolutely great.

Now, I generally don’t factor in someone’s politics when I decide whether or not I like their music. I was a Chicks fan from the moment I heard Wide Open Spaces. Their political stances after the invasion of Iraq neither increased nor decreased my liking for their music. (Similarly, while I can’t stand the song Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue, the politics behind it, or some other statements he has made, I still like Toby Keith and I still think How Do You Like Me Now? is one of the best songs released in any genre in the past ten years. But I digress.) Nonetheless, I would be lying if I said that their political stances didn’t increase my appreciation for the Chicks as people. The new single, I’m Not Ready To Make Nice, increases that appreciation. It’s a no-holds barred statement about what they experienced. Here’s a sample from the middle section

Made my bed and I sleep like a baby
No regrets and I don’t mind saying
It’s a sad sad story when a mother will teach her
Daughter that she ought to hate a perfect stranger

And how in the world can the words that I said
Send somebody so over the edge
That they’d write me a letter saying that I better
Shut up and sing or my life will be over?

I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and I don’t have time
To go round and round and round

Click over to MSN and listen to the song here. It’s not very countryish – not countryish at all, if you ask me.

Things That Make You Go Hmmm

How can Yahoo have a link in their sports section to full coverage of the Iditarod but have nothing about the NCAA Wrestling Championships? I would think that interest in the latter would clearly outweigh interest in the former.

Oh, and Go Hawks!

New Links - Get Yer New Links Here

I’ve added a sports link column, and put Deadspin, SportsBiz, and Sportszilla in there. Also removed some links (Dark Horizons, Fourth Rail), added some (Comics Should Be Good), and updated others (24 Insider). Finally, I added a contests column for Filmwise and Screenplay, two very fun movie games. Filmwise takes screen shots from movies, removes the people, and then you have to guess what movie the shot is from. Screenplay has five different quizzes that update each week. My name at Screenplay, coincidentally enough, is Dweeze, so you can see how I score each week. If you sign up, post your name in the comments so we can track everyone's scores.

(Note: I really did update the links, though Blogger isn't being very accomodating about it right now.)

Murphy's Law

So, I finally get some spare time where I can write some posts. And what happens? Blogger goes down.

And not in the good way.

Obligatory Work Is Heavy Right Now Post

That's why posting has been light. And fluffy.