On The Proper Care And Handling Of Infants

If you bring an infant to a baseball game - and seriously, who the hell brings an infant to a baseball game? - and a ball comes your way, and you do ANYTHING with your body other than shield your infant in such a way to make absolutely certain the ball can't hit your infant, but ESPECIALLY if you wrap your arm around the infant's chest and hold said infant without support so you can try to catch a ball THAT'S STILL IN THE FIELD OF PLAY, then you are a shitty father and you should get a visit from Child Protective Services. You should not have the clip of said CATCH WHILE NEARLY CHOKING YOUR CHILD aired all over ESPN and other outlets while the announcers make jokes about it. We're calling Child Protective Services on parents, usually it's unfortunate but important to point out on poorer black and brown parents, who let their kids play outside, sometimes OUTSIDE THEIR OWN HOUSE. Let's call Child Protective Services on this white dude who is wealthy enough to get box seats at the remodeled Wrigley who ENDANGERED HIS KID'S LIFE ON TV.

(And before someone whines out a 'Why you gotta bring race into it?', I'm not bringing race into it. I'm pointing out that race is an important element of why people, generally speaking but not always white people, call Child Protective Services on children, generally speaking but not always brown and black children, who are playing outside unattended. If you think race isn't a huge part of that, you're either naive as fuck or in denial.)