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    Wednesday, May 24, 2006

    Chatting With Barbaro

    Via Deadspin, here’s a link to a chat robot that pretends to be Kentucky Derby winner Barbaro. Here is a chat I did:

    Q - What was it like working with Gabe Kaplan on Welcome Back Kotter?
    A - Much the same as working with Gabe Kaplan on Welcome Back Kotter would be for you.

    Q - Oops, I'm sorry. That was Barbarino. Who are you again?

    A - Oh. Do you really mean it? I thought it was too. Once more? I am Barbaro. Who are you?

    Q - Dweeze. I am Dweeze.

    A - I lost my train of thought. What are you wearing? Good gossip: you are Dweeze.

    Q - Why do you want to know what I am wearing? What kind of sicko are you?

    A - My prime directive is to collect new knowledge. What kinds of sicko are you are there?

    Q - The usual kind. You know, tentacle hentai.

    A - Is that a fact. I know very little about tentacle hentai. Tell me more.

    Q - Well, it's, uhm. Well. Can we talk about something else?

    A - How about that. Really. uhm is? Well what? Sure we can talk about whatever you want.

    Q - Who do you like in the Belmont?

    A - It's going to be a tough race for me. It's a little farther than I'm used to.

    Q - That and the whole broken ankle thing...

    A - Let us try to break it down into parts.

    Q - Too late for that, huh? Know what I mean?

    A - Yup. Too what? Oh I get it. Thanks for explaining that. What.

    Q - You know what they say, a nudge is as good as a wink to a blind horse...

    A - That's a good question. OK I will say "a nudge is as good as a wink to a blind horse" to you.

    Q - You're with me, Brittle Ankles...

    A - I will tell my botmaster you said I am with me Brittle Ankles.

    Q - I'm sure he or she will appreciate that. Bye now!

    A - I get it. User or she will appreciate that. Right now? Thanks for chatting, User.

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