This

Is one of the funniest things I’ve seen in a long, long time. What a great parody ad.



What? This is real? Seriously?

Fun With Commercials

Saw a very bizarre commercial this evening. It opens with six older men in a shack, a band of some sort, playing a song. It didn't register at first, but after a few lyrics I knew it was Viva Las Vegas. Well, the bastardized version of Viva Las Vegas that Viagra is using as it's theme song. Six guys, singing the praises of Viagra, without a woman in sight. In fact, there weren't any women that appeared at any time in the commercial. Just six men, singing the praises of Viagra.

Not that there's anything wrong with it...

The Announcement You've All Been Waiting For

Barring Al Gore jumping into the race sometime in the next 22 hours, I'll be caucusing tomorrow evening for John Edwards. (Mitt, I could be per$uaded to caucu$ for you.)

It's a fairly easy decision for me. The older I get, the more I self-identify as progressive, and Edwards is the only one of the top three candidates who is pushing a progressive agenda. As to the other main two, Obama very obviously crafts his message to appeal to progressives, but a close inspection reveals that not only is his agenda not progressive, it actually incorporates many Republican talking points. (Not to mention the cult of personality that is developing around him.) Clinton is too much of the consummate inside politician for my tastes, not to mention that a Clinton win would mean we had at least twenty-four years where our President had one of two last names. There's something about that fact that grates on me. Oh, I gladly vote for either in the general if they are the nominee. But right now, I can side with the person I most want. So Edwards it is.

You Tube Fun - Things You Don't Expect To Hear In Places You Don't Expect To Hear Them Edition

So I'm walking through Wal-Mart this morning before work, stopping in to get a quick breakfast tv dinner and to check out the toy department. The tune on the Muzak seemed vaguely familiar, though I was unable to recognize it a first. The more I listened, the more I realized I did know it. It was the Galaxy Song.

This Galaxy Song



Though it wasn't Python. I googled later and found out the Clint Black recorded the song, which was what was playing at Wal-Mart, though with a rather significant change at the end. Where Python ends with "There's bugger all down here on the earth" the Clint Black version ends with "We're cheated out of it down here on the earth." I truly hope to hear this next time, performed by Toby Keith



Or maybe this by Martina McBride



Special Bonus Video

So How Does That Work Exactly?

Overheard during the Gaylord Hotels-Music City Bowl broadcast.

"Half of Florida State's front seven was suspended..."

Okay. So one guy was only half suspended? Does that mean he gets to dress and take the field, but he can't make any effort once he's out there?

Later on we got this.

"I think a lot of people don't remember what it was like to be in college, and many of us, had we gotten the opportunity to cheat on a final exam, might have taken it."

All right. Is there something you're trying to tell us? Something that's eaten at your conscience for years and years?

X-Mas You Tube Fun: Saving The Best For Last

Bruuuuuuce



Robert Earl Keen



Judy Garland in Meet Me In St. Louis

X-Mas You Tube Fun: MTV Edition

Billy Squier (with my lost love Martha Quinn in the background)



Brian Seitzer



Hall and Oates



John Mellencamp

X-Mas You Tube Fun: Baby Please Come Home Edition

Bruce Springsteen and Jon Bon Jovi



Mariah carey



and of course, Darlene Love

X-Mas You Tube Fun: South Park Edition

You Tube Fun: Pick 'Em Edition

A



Or B



A



Or B



A



Or B

Ron (Batshit Crazy Is As Batshit Crazy Does) Paul

I was driving a lunch today, running down to Panchero's to get a burrito. (Oh right - I'm employed again - did I mention that?) I turned on the radio, and as is the case for all of us in the Hawkeye state right now, got treated to several commercials for presidential candidates. These usually all blend together, depending on the candidate's party. Every single ad for a Republican seems to be some variant of "Bad people, most of them with brownish skin but one of them being the wife of a former President, want to do bad things to you and I'm the only one who can protect you" while every single ad for a Democrat seems to be some variant of "Together, we can make the United States a better place as long as you, yes you, vote for me". Republicans sell fear, Democrats sell hope. And Ron Paul? Ron Paul sells batshit craziness.

The commercial starts out with Ron telling us about the evils of NAFTA. So far, so good, Republican candidate traveling down fear of brown people road. But then Ron starts to go, well, most people would call it going astray, but Ron probably calls it going to the point.

"There are powerful interests trying to eliminate the Mexican and Canadian borders." What the fuck? Seriously, what the fuck? Care to name, oh, ONE of these powerful interests? I'm not saying there isn't anyone in this country who doesn't wish for the elimination of the Mexican and Canadian borders, but I'm betting the people who do are also wishing for the UFOs to land and bring us peace and prosperity. It is not a position that sane people take, certainly not publicly. Powerful interests. Powwwwwerful interests! Can someone get Ron his meds, stat?

"The NAFTA Superhighway will extend from Mexico to Canada, going right through Iowa, destroying 4,000 family farms." Uhm, Ron? Interstate 35 already goes from pretty damn close to the Texas-Mexico border to pretty damn close to the Minnesota-Canada border, running right through Iowa. And quite frankly, most of us are glad it does. As for the family farms - well, I haven't looked the number up, but my gut instinct tells me there probably aren't 4,000 family farms left in the state. After all, with 99 counties, there would have to be over 40 family farms per county to get to four thousand family farms in the state, and that seems incredibly unlikely. Further, even if there were some new north-south highway being planned to cut across the state (and there isn't), it is doubtful that it would cross through all 99 counties. At most - a very unlikely most, but one I'm choosing for ease of mathematics - it crosses 20 counties. (Interestate 35 crosses 10 as it goes across Iowa; the Avenue of the Saints crosses 13). There would have to be 200 family farms per county for such a road to claim 4,000 family farms. There probably isn't one county in the state that has over 200 family farms in it, let alone 20.

Wikipedia shows that there is a proposed state-wide highway in Texas which will result in the creation of several traffic corridors that run from Mexico all the way to - you guessed it - Oklahoma. Oklahoma. No talk of this running to Canada, or even Iowa, but hey - when you're a paranoid batshit crazy asshat it doesn't take much to get your imagination running.

So Republicans, please make Ron Paul your presidential candidate. Or Rudy. Or Mitt. Or Fred. Or Huckabee. Or - well, actually, the whole Republican field is filled with nothing but second stringers, losers, and has beens, and at this point in time, at least, everyone of them would get waxed in the general election. But Ron Paul would probably be the most fun.

Unintentional Analogies

So, yesterday I found myself at a stoplight behind a car with an Obama bumper sticker. Not one of the small ones, but one of the big ones. The driver was signaling a left turn, but when the light changed, he actually turned right. This struck me as a perfect, though unintentional, analogy for the entire Obama campaign.

Speaking of Dogs

I have been a dog owner for over six years of my life and a cat owner for over six years of my life. Thus, I feel I am qualified to comment on the differences between cats and dogs. The truth about cats and dogs, if you will.

Anyway, here is the biggest difference between cats and dogs (besides cats being much more of a pain to take care of than dogs - a fact most would dispute but, if you've ever had to take care of both at the same time, you know is indisputable). If you are sitting down, and a cat is sitting next to you, and you get up to go to another room to get something, the cat will look at you disdainfully for disturbing its comfort but otherwise ignore you. If you are sitting down, and a dog is sitting next to you, and you get up to go to another room to get something, the dog will follow eagerly, because the dog is deathly afraid he or she is going to miss something important, probably food related, but possibly related to going outside.

And that's the biggest difference between cats and dogs.

You Tube Fun - Triumph Edition

On Hollywood Squares



With Bon Jovi



2004 Presidential Debate

Happy Thanksgiving!

Here's The Thing

Don't know your feelings on the writer's strike, but I wholeheartedly support it. Here are some links to some posts outlining the issues at the always great Kung Fu Monkey. Be sure to read through the comments as well. Other good posts can be found at Ken Levine's Blog, and the unofficial official blog of the strike can be found at United Hollywood.

Across The Universe

(Note: This was written as a message board post, but I think it's good enough to post here as well. It's not like anyone is reading anyway.)

Across The Universe - see it. Now.

It's a movie - a musical that, like Moulin Rouge and Singin' In The Rain before it, uses pre-existing, not original, music for the musical numbers. However, unlike those two films, the music is all taken from one group - the Beatles. In fact, the more I think about it, the best way to describe it would be to say the movie takes place in the universe of the Beatles catalog.

The main characters (and many of the minor ones) all take their names from characters in Beatles' songs. Our lead is Jude, a young Liverpudian shipbuilder who comes to the U.S. to find his father, a U.S. soldier stationed in England during WWII. While here he meets Max (Maxwell), Max's sister Lucy, and several others who all make their way to New York City. Some of the Beatles connections are obvious - we are introduced to a character named Prudence, and yes Dear Prudence is eventually one of the songs. On the other hand, though we see Max at one point banging on a fan with a big silver hammer, that song never appears. Some of the other Beatles connections are not so obvious, or at least force you to be paying attention. Jude's girlfriend in the opening scenes when he is still in Liverpool is named Molly. Near the close of the movie, Jude has returned to Liverpool and is once more working on the docks. Molly, has married Jude's co-worker Desmond. Desmond's name isn't mentioned at the start of the movie; Molly's name isn't mentioned at the end of the movie.

The film is set in the mid- to late 60s (though the timeline is a little loose and, ultimately, not that important to the tale) with events that mirror the 60s in the real universe. One of the best things about the film is how those events are presented in a way that makes it impossible not to relate them to our current world situation, yet at no time is the viewer hit over the head with that connection. It's just there. (As Ebert says in his review "It's not political, which means it's political to it's core.")

The performances are first-rate. The main cast is mostly unknowns, with Evan Rachel Wood being the biggest name among the leads. The leads do almost all of the singing as well, and they do it quite well, especially when you take into account that many of the musical performances used in the film were recorded live on set, a rarity in a time when most film musical performances are recorded in perfect recording situations and then dubbed in. There are three guest appearances that are absolutely perfect. Joe Cocker sings Come Together as three different characters - a homeless street singer, a pimp, and a hippie. Bono shows up as a Ken Kesey pastiche and sings I Am The Walrus. Eddie Izzard is Mr. Kite, singing, well, Being For The Benefit Of Mr. Kite. (Bono also sings Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds over the closing credits.)

The film is beautifully photographed, with a bright mix of colors and several extended pyschedelic sequences (one after the characters drink the Kesey characters red Kool-Aid). It's also spectacularly choreographed. The director, Julie Taymor (director of several broadway productions, including The Lion King), does most of the choreography herself.
The songs are used wonderfully; some are presented in a straightforward manner much like most musicals. For instance, I've Just Seen A Face takes place in a bowling alley right after Jude meets Lucy, and it could almost be a music video, it's such a literal translation of the song. On the other hand, the aforementioned I Am The Walrus begins with the main cast having just drunk the acid, slowly transforms into a psychedelic dream, melts into all the characters on the Kesey-esque bus as merry pranksters, and ends at the farm of a Doctor Geary.

The arrangements also vary, from straightforward versions that are remarkably faithful to the originals to radical reinventions that bring out meaning you might not have seen before. One of the best examples (I was reluctant to use it, as Ebert mentions it in his review, but it is one of the best examples) is I Want To Hold Your Hand. That song takes on a poignancy, a deep sadness, when the hand belongs to a person the singer can never hold hands with.

Like most musicals, it's not a film for literalists. It's a film that forces the viewer to commit, to relinquish themselves, to almost become a part of the film in much the same way that live theatre forces audiences to become part of the proceedings. (Yeah, that's vague - you either know what I mean or don't, and if you don't, I can't explain it any better than that.) I can't think of a film I've seen recently that had me smiling as much, that hit me as hard emotionally in the painful spots, that had me cheering inside as much that the two main characters would get together while still having doubts about whether or not they would. In spirit and energy it reminds me most of Hair, though in execution it is a far different animal. As I left the theatre I immediately set out to make two purchases - the Across the Universe soundtrack and a copy of Hair on DVD. I found the former (there were two versions, a 16-song version with selected songs and a 31-song two-disc version with all the songs from the film, which is the version I got and have listened to more or less non-stop since buying), couldn't find the latter.

I would assume that if the film is still playing here in small-town Iowa then it shouldn't be difficult to find anywhere bigger. I intend to see it again this weekend. So you should see it. Now.
So see it. Now.

Trailers





Links:
Ebert Review
Film Ick Review and Essay

My Friend Ethan and His Spider-Man Pillow

Ethan's gone, back with his mother, now in Delaware. More later. I just wanted to share this: we were standing at the Southwest ticket counter at Midway. Ethan was holding his Spider-Man pillow, and the attendant said "That's a cute pillow." She turned away and he motioned that he wanted to tell me something. I leaned down, and he said, exasperatedly, "It's not cute - it's cool." Which, as far as I'm concerned, is both cute and cool. That's my boy.

An Open Letter To The Host Of The Golden Harvest Hawkeye Huddle Post-Game Radio Show

Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shutupshutupshutupshutup shut the fuck up you fucking fuck. No one - NO ONE - wants to hear you interrupt the discussion of the key defensive plays of the game with your little story about you and your wife watching We Are Marshall. No one.

Thanks!

Dweeze

Scent Of A Woman

There is a scent you find in all strip clubs. (So I am told. I do not speak from personal experience.) It's a strange mix of a floral-scented baby powder and a sharp perfume. Every dancer smells of it; the next day you can pick your shirt up and still catch the scent from where the dancer pressed herself against you during a private dance. (So I am told. I do not speak from personal experience.) You very rarely smell it outside of a strip club, and you never expect to encounter it someplace like, oh, the Children's Museum, where it radiates of the very hot mom who came in as you were leaving. (So I assume. I do not speak from personal experience.)