Not That I'm Complaining, But

Can anyone explain to me why gas is $.10 a gallon cheaper in Williamsburg than it is in Iowa City? It's the same question that's always bothered me about Cedar Rapids, except now I can get the cheaper gas without driving someplace I wouldn't otherwise be driving. You would think that there wouldn't be any additional cost factor to delivering gas to Iowa City that doesn't also apply to delivering gas twenty miles away in Cedar Rapids or Williamsburg. So what is the difference? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

No, I Didn't

Back date this post just so I could claim I had a post in May.

Posting

I am constantly thinking of posts. In fact, I mentally write far more posts than I actually, you know, post. I’ll completely create a post in my head, then never bother to write it down and post it. Not sure why that is – perhaps I’m just bored with the post by the time I get to physically writing it. I think that’s why the short posts show up more often than the long ones. I’ve got about a third of a post on the recent Englert brouhaha written – hell, I actually spent time researching the effectiveness and justification of TIF districts – just sitting as a draft. There’s also a post that’s been brewing about why Obama, or more specifically, Obama supporters, scare the hell out of me. I hope to get some of these written and posted in the next few days. Til then – kid stories and innuendo (though not in the same posts)!

S-P-E-L-L-I-N-G

Ethan does really well with numbers. He knows his street addresses in both Iowa and Delaware, he reads off the street addresses of every house as we drive down the street, he can count to 100, and he can do basic addition. But he hasn’t been that good on his letters, and he still doesn’t really know his ABCs.

Kindergarten is just four months away, so we’ve started working on his letters. He can now spell his name, and it only took him two days to get there. We’ve spent a lot of time spelling names, and while he can’t spell them all, he knows that D is for Daddy, M is for Mommy, and A is for Andrew.

Last night we went through a long period of spelling names, every name E could think of. We finished, and for some reason I spelled the word “clock” – probably because clocks are among his favorite things, because they are always showing (and changing) numbers. In response, he said “Clock isn’t a name.” I patiently explained that clock was a word, and that all words, not just names, were made up of letters, and that anything made up of letters could be spelled. You could see the connections being made in his mind as I spoke, a whole new world of information opening up to him, and we spent the next twenty minutes or so spelling every word he could think of.

I couldn’t be prouder of him. I really couldn’t.

Dweeze's Deep Thoughts

Saw a Sports Center broadcast this morning on the Roger Clemens affair thing, and in the clip Clemens was shown climbing into his Humvee and driving off away from the media. This confirmed a long-time pet theory of mine, that there are only two reasons to buy a Humvee – 1. You’ve got a military, 2. You’re an asshole. I think we can safely assume Roger Clemens does not have a military.

(Note: I don’t like using the word “Hummer” to describe the vehicle, because I don’t think a wonderful, beautiful thing like a hummer should be dragged through the mud that way. More importantly, writing “buy a Hummer” makes me giggle uncontrollably.)

Character Thought Processes at the End of Revenge of the Sith

Ethan came back home with a serious Star Wars jones, and thanks to the TanMan, we started watching the first trilogy. In reverse chronological order. Anyway, here is my expert opinion on the thought processes of the various characters at the end of the movie.

Obi Won Kenobi: "Sure, Anakin's got to be in an incredible amount of agony, and as they say, better safe than sorry, but rather than put him out of his misery/ensure that a tremendous threat is dead, I'm just going to walk away. I mean, it's not like Darth Sidius is going to show up, rescue him, and put what remains alive in a walking tin can, right?"

Darth Vader: "Wow. An incredibly advanced society with tons of technological advances, and you can't even manage some decent skin grafts?"

Yoda: "I am too old for this shit. Yes, it's the most obvious place to put him, but I really don't give a crap that everyone will be able to figure out that Anakin's kid has been placed with Anakin's only living relatives on Anakin's home planet. Let Darth Sidious kill him in his infancy. I just want to go back to the swamp."

Darth Sidious: "Yeah, it would really cost nothing whatsoever to send a scout ship to Tatooine to see if Anakin's kid is still alive. But hey, if the Jedis say Padme died during childbirth and the kid died with her, that's good enough for me."

Padme: "I need a new agent."

Deep Thought For The Day

The song says you can't hurry love. Well, it's also pretty tough to make a five-year old move faster than he wants to move.

My Boys

Are growing up

300

No, not the movie. The thread count on the new sheets I bought. And yes, I know there are much higher thread counts. But this is the highest I've ever gotten for myself, and girllllllfriend, they feel goooood.

Speaking of 300

Because Really, What This Story Needed Was More Bat-Shit Crazy People

I haven't written about this because it really hit me hard. The fact that one of the kids was Andrew's age and named Ethan is what got to me. So those of you who aren't from here haven't heard about it. But this, about the fine Rev. Phelps and the plans for the WBC to come protest at the funeral, made me break my silence.

See, you out-of-staters might not know it, but God apparently hates Iowa. First, there was the court that allowed gay couples to get married. Then, there was the state law prohibiting protests within 500 yards of a funeral. Finally, there is the fact that Iowa City is among the gay-friendliest cities in America.

(Really, we are. City law states that if a gay person asks us to perform a sex act with them, we have to do it. That's how gay-friendly we are!)

So God hates Iowa, and to demonstrate that hate, God - and I'm quoting here - "sent the shooter" as punishment for Iowa's sins. (Note: As anyone who can read could tell you, there was no shooter, no shots, and no shooting victims. Facts are funny things.)

Now, I don't want to get into the strangeness of someone professing to be a Christian apparently never having heard of the New Testament God (aka the friendly God). Nor do I want to get into the strangeness of God sending a hitman to kill innocent children as young as three. I mean, if God really was trying to send a message, especially a message about the evils of homosexuality, you'd think he send a hitman to take out some gay people. And not take them out in the way that Iowa City city law requires us to take out gay people - no, in the killing way of taking out people.

To me, if you want to use the logic that God targets the innocent to drive home how sinful we Iowans are to the ultimate extreme, you realize that God shouldn't just be targeting the innocent - God should be targeting those who actively protest against homosexuality. That would really drive home how angry God was at us. So, until someone takes out the entire Phelps family (again, not the good way of taking out), I'm going to assume that God isn't sending hitmen to kill Iowa's innocents.

Of course, the notion that Steve Sueppel was a hitman for God makes as much sense as any other theory people have put forward for why he did what he did. Let me reiterate what I said about the Virginia Tech shootings - as much as we want to see a reason, we won't. To quote the Rats of Boomtown, we can see no reasons because there are no reasons. The silicon chip inside his head got switched to overload and Sueppel went totally bat-shit crazy. It wasn't because of his legal problems, it wasn't because he didn't want his family to deal with the shame, it wasn't because of the harshness of the legal system - it's because he went crazy. We'll never know why - he made sure of that himself - but it doesn't matter why. All that matters is that he went nuts, two adults and four children are dead, and the Desperate Attention Whores from Kansas are coming to town.

In other words, no happy endings here.

We'll Be Right Back After A Word From Our Sponsors

I can't decide. Am I too damn old, or are there just an overabundance of absolutely unbefuckinglevieably idiotic commercials? Burger King seems to be the worst offender. I can't decide which is worse - the "We took the Whopper off the menu" series or the "Whopper Junior/Spicy Chicken visit other fast food places" series. The only people the latter series could appeal to would be the people who freak out when they're told they can't get a Whopper. The Coke Zero commercials with the Coke employees who want to sue Coke make my head spin as well. Who thinks these are funny?

And let's not forget the Cuba Gooding Jr. Hanes commercials. I see those and feel so sorry for the dude. I mean, he's basically reduced to shucking and jiving for the benefit of Michael Jordan. Still, he doesn't seem too embarassed. I guess once you've starred in Snow Dogs, everything else is a step up.

Even More Things You Don't Expect Rachel Ray To Say

"I have a tendency to over-whack my meat."

Don't we all, Rachel Ray. Don't we all.

Maintenance Issues

Changed my profile name back to Dweeze - too many Davids, and I hated being one of many. I figure I now have the best of both worlds - y'all now know me as David (if you didn't before), but I can still post as Dweeze. I like Dweeze - he's become a major part of me.

New Review

I've got a new review up at the Iowa City Theatre Blog - an ICCT show that's well worth seeing. Well, you only have today (Sunday) left to see it, so chances are you won't. But it was really good.

You Tube Fun - Stay Classy Iowa City Edition

Age of Aquarius - The 40-Year Old Virgin



Afternoon Delight - Anchorman



Let's Get It On - High Fidelity



School of Rock - School of Rock

Thought For The Day

You know those commercials for Horton Hears A Hoo where the Steve Carrell character says "Putting Hoo in front of everything doesn't make it hurt less"? Well, it doesn't make it any funnier, either...

You Tube Fun: F**king Matt Damon and Ben Affleck Edition

I don't think Sarah Silverman is as funny as she thinks she is, and I don't think Jimmy Kimmel is as funny as he thinks he is. But these? These are both hilarious.

And incredibly not safe for work.

It's Been A Great News Week

Remember how I said the story in the previous post would be tough to top? Well, that may still be the case, but it's not going to be because of a lack of trying. Thursday's PC brought us this gem:

Police said officer Ryan Wood was writing a possession of alcohol under the legal age ticket for Michael Roy Schroeder outside of One-Eyed Jakes. While doing so, two friends of Schroeder ran up to the scene.

Police say one of them, Michael Stanley Fabinski, 19, grabbed the ticket book from Wood, and the other man, identified as Michael Alexander Bakerdjis, 20, pushed the officer. Police say both men ran south on Clinton Street.

Wood caught Fabinski after he fell at the corner of Clinton and Washington streets. As Wood tried to place him into custody, police say Bakerdjis grabbed the officer to try to get him off Fabinski. Police say Bakerdjis also tried to pull the ticket book away.

Police say both men were then able to get away temporarily. According to police, Bakerdjis ran south on Clinton Street but Fabinski fell again while running across Clinton Street.

Wood placed Fabinski into custody, and while he was filling out the paperwork, police say Bakerdjis walked by and was spotted by another officer. Bakerdjis attempted to hide behind some bushes but was arrested.

Police say that while the officer was occupied with Fabinski and Bakerdjis, Schroeder fled the area. He was later found and arrested at Currier Hall, where he lives.

...

Schroeder, who will be 20 next Thursday, was charged with PAULA, public intoxication and escape from custody, which is a serious misdemeanor. Kelsay said had Schroeder simply accepted the PAULA ticket and pleaded guilty to the charge, he would have only faced a $314 fine.

...

Bakerdjis, of 302 S. Gilbert St., No. 1226, is charged with two counts of interference with official acts, assault on a peace officer, obstruct prosecution and second-degree robbery. Assault on a peace officer is a serious misdemeanor; obstruct prosecution is an aggravated misdemeanor; second-degree robbery is a class C felony.

Fabinski, of 201 E. Burlington St., No. 1531, was charged with public intoxication, two counts of interference with official acts, obstruct prosecution and second-degree robbery. One of the interference with official acts charges is a serious misdemeanor.

Gives New Meaning To "Room Service"

You don't expect to see the news story of the year in February, but it's going to be tough to top this:

A judge has denied an Iowa man's claim that he shouldn't have been fired for repeatedly requesting help to procure a prostitute.

Neil Jorgensen, 62, of Kalona, worked at Riverside Casino & Golf Resort and was given a gift certificate and free night's stay at the casino hotel to mark a year's employment.

After eating and drinking at a casino restaurant, he returned to his hotel room about midnight and later called hotel managers about hiring a prostitute. When managers refused to help him, he made a call to the adjacent resort and made the same request.

"The advertisement is that it's just like Las Vegas, so I thought I was in Las Vegas," Jorgensen testified at a hearing regarding his request for unemployment benefits.

Hotel workers were sent to Jorgensen's room to ask him to stop demanding prostitutes. When they arrived at his room, Jorgensen answered the door in the nude, human resources director Tim Donovan said.

Jorgensen was fired the next day.

At the hearing, Jorgensen said his actions didn't hurt the casino, and he said he'd received strong performance reviews. He also blamed the restaurant for serving him too much alcohol.

"I was absolutely plowed," he said.

Administrative Law Judge Terence Nice turned down Jorgensen's claim for unemployment benefits.

An Inspired Link

Garfield without Garfield. Check it out.

So How'd I Do?

Not too bad. I only missed one of the top 8 awards, though I missed it by a mile, saying, and I quote: "Cotillard won the Golden Globe, but that was the foreign press - she doesn't stand a chance here." Nice predicting, Dweeze!

On the next tier, I missed Documentary Feature and Foreign Film, but got the other three categories - Animated Feature, Animated Short, and Documentary Short. That brings me to 10 of 15.

I took a beating in the bottom tier, getting only Best Original Song and Best Art Direction. (Who knew Bourne Ultimatum would take home more Oscars than any film other than No Country? Well, I must have had an inkling, cause I did say with regards to Film Editing: "I wouldn't be surprised to see Bourne win this, though.") That's 2 of 10, bringing the over all total to 12 of 25.

Anyway, on to next Oscar Season!

Dweeze's Fearless Oscar Forecast: Put A Fork In It, We're Done

Director:
Paul Thomas Anderson - There Will Be Blood
Ethan Coen and Joel Coen - No Country for Old Men
Tony Gilroy - Michael Clayton
Jason Reitman - Juno
Julian Schnabel - The Diving Bell and the Butterfly

Without a best picture nomination for his movie, Schnabel doesn't stand a chance. Even with a best picture nomination, Reitman doesn't stand a chance. With two much better films out there, Gilroy doesn't stand a chance. Yes, once again, we come down to No Country vs. There Will. So let's hold off.

Picture:
Atonement
Juno
Michael Clayton
No Country for Old Men
There Will Be Blood

Let's sweep through these - I enjoyed all five of these films, which is the first time in a long time I can say that about all the Best Picture nominees. But it really is a two-horse race. Atonement didn't get a director nod, Juno is a comedy, and Michael Clayton had the unfortunate problem of being released in a year with two much-better pictures.

Here's the thing about these two films. No Country is a great film. There Will is a very good film with a great performance. Take Daniel Day-Lewis out of There Will, and it doesn't climb anywhere near as high as it does. On the other hand, as good as Bardem is in No Country, he could be replaced without affecting the film. Yes the ending is unsettling, providing us with no sense of closure; it's supposed to be. Violence is unsettling. Real violence, not the make-believe kind we usually see on screen. The effects of real world violence often give us no sense of closure. The funny thing is, I don't think it's any less detached or unemotional than most Coen brothers films. It's just that, here those qualities work to add to the disquieting sense of the movie. It is a powerful, beautiful film that deserves to be the Best Picture of 2007.

Should Win Director and Picture: No Country for Old Men
Will Win Director and Picture: No Country for Old Men

Dweeze's Fearless Oscar Forecast: Return of the Fearless Oscar Forecast

Getting near the end, so let's just dig in.

Best Actor:
George Clooney - Michael Clayton
Daniel Day-Lewis - There Will Be Blood
Johnny Depp - Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
Tommy Lee Jones - In The Valley of Elah
Viggo Mortensen - Eastern Promises

This might be the easiest category to call the whole night. In any other year Clooney would probably win, but Day-Lewis walks away with this one. It's impossible to imagine There Will Be Blood being anywhere near as good with anyone else, and equally tough to imagine any other actor who could have pulled off the part. Day-Lewis is onscreen for almost the entire film, and he holds the audience's attention from beginning to end.

Should Win: Day-Lewis
Will Win: Day-Lewis

Best Actress:
Cate Blanchett - Elizabeth: The Golden Age
Julie Christie - Away From Her
Marion Cotillard - La Vie en Rose
Laura Linney - The Savages
Ellen Page - Juno

Blanchett already won for playing the character, so it'd be gaudy to give her a second statue. Linney racks up yet another nomination without a win. (Call me Laura!) Cotillard won the Golden Globe, but that was the foreign press - she doesn't stand a chance here. Which brings us to Christie and Page. Christie gets to play ill, which is usually an Oscar-shoe-in for a man, though not so much for a woman. Page is great, but young - voters might regard her as having many more chances for a win later in her career.

Should Win: Page
Will Win: Christine

Dweeze's Fearless Oscar Forecast: Episode Four A New Hope

We all know the drill by now, right? Right? So let's get to it.

Best Supporting Actor:
Casey Affleck - The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
Javier Bardem - No Country for Old Men
Philip Seymour Hoffman - Charlie Wilson's War
Hal Holbrook - Into The Wild
Tom Wilkinson - Michael Clayton

I've seen three of the five performances, and of the ones I've seen, Javier Bardem is the clear favorite. Indeed, it seems as though he's been the favorite since No Country came out. The only person who has a chance is Hal Holbrook. Two reasons why: First, it's the only major nomination for a film a lot of people loved. Second, as a lifetime acheivement award for Hal.

Should Win: Bardem
Will Win: Bardem

Best Supporting Actress:
Cate Blanchett - I'm Not There
Ruby Dee - American Gangster
Saorise Ronan - Atonement
Amy Ryan - Gone Baby Gone
Tilda Swinton - Michael Clayton

Ruby Dee has the all the things in her favor that Hal Holbrook does in the previous category, but she's barely in the movie. I think Blanchett cancels herself out here and with Best Actress, plus she's already got a statue. Ronan, as good as she was, might as well not even be in the race. That leaves us with Ryan and Swinton. Both play unsympathetic characters. Ryan's character is an absolutely unapologetic druggie. Swinton's is a total mess pushed into horrific acts. Either would be a great choice. Swinton takes it though, solely because more people have seen the film and it's the best chance for an award for the film.

Should Win: Ryan
Will Win: Swinton

500

Welcome to my 500th post. It's incredibly special, isn't it?

You Tube Fun: The Gourds Gin and Juice

A very nice mash-up of the original Snoop Dogg Gin and Juice video with the Gourds cover of the song. This may be the best cover version of a song in the entire history of cover versions.

Return of the Prodigal Bloggers

Both Greenman and Side Notes have returned to the blogosphere (and to my links), Side Notes with her quick comments and insightful analysis, Greenman with a very funny, very obscene You Tube clip. We all play to our strengths...

Dweeze's Fearless Oscar Forecast Episode Three: Attack of the Oscar Forecast

Change in format for the rest of the posts. I'll list all the nominees, with an attempt at commentary on most.

Original Screenplay:
Juno: Diablo Cody (An almost universally-loved film with almost no chance of winning any other award.)
Lars and the Real Girl: Nancy Oliver (Welcome to the ranks of it's an honor just to be nominated.)
Michael Clayton: Tony Gilroy (Same analysis as Juno - everyone loves the film, but it might get shut out the rest of the night.)
Ratatouille: Brad Bird, story by Jim Capobianco and Jan Pinkava (A great film, but by this point it's already won all the awards it's going to get.)
The Savages: Tamara Jenkins (Have a seat with Ms. Oliver.)

Should Win: Diablo Cody
Will Win: Diablo Cody

Adapted Screenplay:
Atonement: Christopher Hampton (Welcome to shutoutsville, Atonement!!)
Away From Her: Sarah Polley (Welcome to Anhonortobenominatedville, Sarah Polley!)
The Diving Bell and the Butterfly: Ronald Harwood (Have a seat over there by Ms. Polley, Mr. Harwood!)
No Country for Old Men: Ethan Coen and Joel Coen
There Will Be Blood: Paul Thomas Anderson

Okay, the first big battle of the night between the two front-runners for Best Picture and Best Director. I'll leave my thoughts on the merits of the two films until later. If I can. I mean, if I have a clear opinion as to which of these two films is the better film, and I don't know if I can separate that opinion from my opinion on the screenplay.

You know, I can't. I've made several attempts to do so, but can't seem to manage it. So let's just go with the prediction.

Should Win: No Country for Old Men
Will Win: No Country for Old Men

Tonight? Total Lunar Eclipse - Tomorrow?

Give them the answer, won't you Bonnie?

Dweeze's Fearless Oscar Predictions Part the Second

Hi! It's me again, back with more Oscar predictions. Today we'll cover the awards too major to be considered minor, but too minor to be considered major. Once again, just the winners with light commentary.

Documentary Feature:
Sicko (Because it's Hollywood, and they're all liberals, dontcha know?)

Documentary Short:
Freeheld (Because I have no idea.)

Animated Feature:
Ratatouille (Although don't be surprised if Persepolis wins this solely because it wasn't nominated for Foreign Language Film.)

Animated Short:
Peter and the Wolf (Everyone loves Peter and the Wolf!)

Foreign Language Film:
12 (Again, no idea.)

Okay, we've got the prelimaries out of the way. Tomorrow, the writing awards.

Dweeze's Fearless Oscar Forecast Part I

Why is it a fearless Oscar forecast you ask? Because even if I miss every pick, nothing bad happens. I won't get mocked more by my friends; the good folks at Blogger won't yank my blog away from me. It's recriminations free predicting, baby!

In this first installment, we'll get a bunch of the smaller categories out of the way. For these, I'm not going to list all the nominees, just the winners. I'm also going light on the witty commentary. (Curses to all of you who say I'm always light on the witty commentary.)

Make-Up
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End (It's really this or Norbit, and you know that ain't happening.)

Original Song:
"Falling Slowly" Once (The three Enchanted songs cross each other out and no one liked August Rush. That leaves this song, from a film almost everyone loved.)

Original Score:
Ratatouille (Course, if No Country is going to dominate the evening, it will begin to happen here.)

Sound Editing:
Ratatouille

Sound Mixing:
Ratatouille (Everyone loved the film, but there are no awards to give it after Animated Feature - so it will sweep these.)

Film Editing:
Into The Wild (One of the few chances to give an award to a film a ton of people thought would be up for the major awards - I wouldn't be surprised to see Bourne win this, though.)

Costume Design:
Across the Universe (Because it's the best damned film of the year, and because it didn't get any other nominations, this is my sentimental pick, though we all know Sweeney Todd will take the statuette.)

Art Direction:
Sweeney Todd

Visual Effects:
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End

Cinematography:
The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford (I actually saw the three major contenders here, and the film with the awkward title should win this hands down.)

That's it for now. Tune in tomorrow for more fearless predictions!

Snow Madness

In case my earlier post did not make it clear, this shoveling snow every other day thing? So uncool. SO UNCOOL!

You Are Now Free To Roam About The Country Between Chicago And Baltimore

The thing I like best about Southwest Airlines isn't the frequent flights, or the low fares - it's the apparently radical notion that a one-way fare should be half the price of a round-trip fare. Too bad I need to go into Midway to catch a flight, but that little half-price one-way fare thing makes it cheaper to fly Southwest, even with the overnight trip to Chicago and back, then to fly any airline out of Cedar Rapids.

Some Programming Notes

I've got a review of Rage Theatrics' Hero Stories up at the Iowa City Theatre Blog. You can read it here.

By the way, the byline on that review is my real name. I've never really kept it hidden here, though I haven't really broadcast it either. So anyway, I'm David. Not Dave. Certainly not Davey. Just David.

Pleased to meet you all.

Rudy!

More campaign commercial fun from the King of Soul, Rudy Guiliani

(The jokes below will only be funny if you listen to the background music for the commercial.)



Only Rudy will push for a catastrophe fund! Only Rudy will stand up to the insurance companies! Only Rudy will make sweet, sweet love to you like you deserve, baby!

I Give! I Surrender!

Okay snow, you won. I concede. You can stop now.

Oh, I think I've fought a good fight. We were at a draw for a long time, but I have to admit that this latest snowfall is it. Good job. Nicely played.

What? You're not going to stop? Another 3-5 inches today, snow this coming Friday as well as next Sunday and Monday? You bastard!

*sobs*

You bastard...

RIP Bobby Fischer

No, I didn't know the man. In fact, I only bring it up as an excuse to run a clip from one of my favorite films, Searching For Bobby Fischer.

I first discovered the film when I was working at That's Rentertainment. (A local video store chain for the non-resident readers, though they have since closed up shop.) One of the things you find as a video store clerk is that you very seldom get to watch a movie all the way through. There are always distractions. People come in, shelves need to be restocked, windows need washed. That sort of thing.

So you develop a library of movies, movies you know so well that you can walk away at any point and come back later and know exactly where you are and what is going on. (Concert films were also perfect for this purpose.) I had such films as Strictly Ballroom (I need to post on that some day), Joe Vs. The Volcano (ditto), and Searching For Bobby Fischer.

Searching For Bobby Fischer is an incredible film. It's perfectly cast and beautifully acted. In many ways it's a sports film, but it's also a film about fathers and sons, about teaching and learning, about growing older and growing up. Here's the final scene, where our hero Josh (you'll quickly figure out which character that is) is facing the top player in his age group for the national title of his age group. Look for Joe Mantegna and Nancy Allen as Josh's parents and Lawrence Fishburne and Ben Kingsley as his two chess teachers with drastically different styles.

You Tube Fun - Ryan Adams on Letterman Edition

You know, I'm sorry I didn't get to the Costello/Dylan concert last fall. But I deeply, deeply regret not going to see Ryan Adams at the Union. That was the show I really wanted to see, and I skipped it. The man is a genius.

Two



Everybody Knows



New York, New York



(and the original New York, New York video, shot September 7, 2001- they thought about scraping the video because the towers played such a prominent role in the staging of the video, but decided to go with it anyway as a tribute to the city)

You Tube Fun - Nellie McKay Edition

Unfortunately, I couldn't find a video for Identity Theft, which I'm coming to look at as the best song of 2007.

Sari



The Dog Song



David

Things You Don't Expect Rachel Ray To Say

"Once you're done, your balls will taste both sweet and spicy."

"You need a small bowl like this for the dipping sauce for your balls."

"Your balls will be a big hit at parties."

"Or just serve your balls on a nice bed of stir-fry vegetables."

"Hold on a second while I take a quick look at these balls."

"Don't mess with your balls a lot; just let them hang out."

Deep Thought For The Day

It's tough to think about what you have when all you can focus on is what you've lost.

Police Charge Man Hit By Train With Vandalism

From the Press-Citizen:

Iowa City Police filed charges Thursday against an Iowa City man who was struck by a train in September.

Officers found Shane Michael Stange, 20, under the lead engine of the train when they arrived at the scene Sept. 9. After being extracted, Stange allegedly told officers he had fallen asleep on the tracks when walking home. However, crew members from the train said that when they spotted Stange lying on the tracks, they sounded their horn and he looked up but refused to move. The 9,200-ton train had to make an emergency stop but still struck Stange, causing minor injuries.

Police said Stange had a strong odor of alcohol and slurred his speech when officers spoke to him about the incident. Stange was not charged at the time and instead was taken to the hospital for treatment. On Dec. 17, an officer involved with the incident completed charges for public intoxication and seventh-degree railroad vandalism and a warrant was issued. (Emphasis added.)

Okay. I get the public intox. But vandalism? Because he didn't move when he heard the train whistle?

The People Have Spoken - The Bastards

The title of this post is one of my favorite political quotes. It was supposedly uttered by the losing candidate in a California state senate primary. It's probably the most honestly-felt post-election speech ever spoken.

It amazes me how, right after your candidate loses, your opinion of the winning candidate goes down a little. I dislike Obama a lot more right now than I did on caucus night. I think at that point I still hoped Edwards would win it. I'm not sure why - maybe I thought there would be some state-wide mass epiphanic moment where tens of thousands of caucus-goers suddenly slapped their foreheads with their palms and said "I can't believe I'm buying this crap!" Needless to say, that didn't happen.

As I said in my pre-caucus post, the older I get, the more I self-identify as a progressive. Edwards remains the only major candidate in the race pushing a progressive agenda. But I also self-identify as someone who is pretty sophisticated politically. I've worked for campaigns, I've been a member of the county central Democratic committee, I've been a precinct chair (in which capacity I ran several caucuses), and I've been a county and state convention delegate. This isn't my first time at the rodeo.

As a result, words like "hope" and "change" are meaningless to me unless there is something underneath them that demonstrates that what the candidate is offering is truly "change", truly a cause for "hope". And as much as Obama slings around the words "change" and "hope", what's underneath his words is nothing but failed retread positions, luke-warm half-measures, and Republican talking points.

Obama speaks of change, but he doesn't really offer change on a substantive level. His language and his delivery are designed to make hearts flutter, but all he offers is the same failed crap centrist Democrats have been offering for the past decade. To the extent that anything he says and proposes is actually progressive, it's because Edwards has forced Obama (as he forced Clinton) to say and propose things that are progressive.

Let's get specific. Look at health care. Obama's plan doesn't go as far towards ensuring universal coverage as the Edwards plan or even the Clinton plan. Yes, Edwards and Clinton mandate universal coverage, but they also include subsidies to help low-income families purchase insurance (as does Obama), and the level of subsidies proposed by Edwards and Clinton are significantly higher than the level of subsidies proposed by Obama. (For more, see Krugman here.) I'm going to pull over Krugman's conclusion because, well, he's Krugman, and a far better writer and a far better economic thinker than I'm ever going to be.

Mr. Obama’s health plan is weaker than those of his Democratic rivals, but it’s infinitely superior to, say, what Rudy Giuliani has been proposing. My main concern right now is with Mr. Obama’s rhetoric: by echoing the talking points of those who oppose any form of universal health care, he’s making the task of any future president who tries to deliver universal care considerably more difficult.

That, to me, is the biggest problem. Not that the Obama healthcare plan isn't as good as the Edwards plan or the Clinton plan, but that rather than debate the substance of the approaches, Obama chose to attack Edwards and Clinton with Republican anti-universal health care talking points.

But wait! There's more!

I’d add, however, a further concern: the debate over mandates has reinforced the uncomfortable sense among some health reformers that Mr. Obama just isn’t that serious about achieving universal care — that he introduced a plan because he had to, but that every time there’s a hard choice to be made he comes down on the side of doing less.

I'd say the right-wing pandering is a result of that "every time there's a hard choice to be made he comes down on the side of doing less" thing. Because it isn't just a smattering of right-wing pandering - it's a whole host of right-wing pandering. There's the "Social Security is in crisis and needs fixing" statements (it isn't and it doesn't), the diss of trial lawyers, the diss of Gore and Kerry, and perhaps most telling, the Donnie McClurkin incident, something he has never adequately explained. (Probably because the explanation would have to be "I was falling way behind in South Carolina, and the only way I could stop the bleeding was to quietly play the gay-bashing card.")

I understand why Obama is running to the right of Clinton and Edwards. He has to - he has no chance of winning if he comes across as the most radical of the candidates. Sadly, the state of the racial dialogue in this country still hasn't advanced far enough to allow Obama to come across as an angry candidate. A sense of anger would sway me most to his side, but I know it would drive a lot more people away. So I get that. I do.

But I cannot support a candidate based on the candidate's personality alone. I keep coming back to an Atrios post from early December. It's brief - I'll use it in it's entirety:

Shorter Candidates

Obama: The system sucks, but I'm so awesome that it'll melt away before me.

Edwards: The system sucks, and we're gonna have to fight like hell to destroy it.

Clinton: The system sucks, and I know how to work within it more than anyone.

That, to me, captures the three perfectly. The Obama argument seems to be that the force of his personality alone will be enough to bring about change. And I'm not discounting the value that force of personality can have. But there are limits to what force of personality can accomplish.

JFK was as powerful a personality as any U.S. President. But was JFK actually an effective President? Most of the major pieces of social legislation that were passed in the 60s passed under LBJ, not JFK. Yes, many of them were proposed by JFK. But they stalled in Congress, and didn't get passed until LBJ, an experienced Senate trader, took office.

Gridlock is a big buzzword for a lot of people. Obama is supposedly going to break gridlock by using the force of his personality to reach out to Republicans. But the problem isn't that Democrats haven't tried reaching out to Republicans - hell, the current Senate and House majority leaders have bent over backwards to Republicans.

Harry Reid has gone so far as to agree not to bring any legislation to the Senate floor unless there are 60 votes in favor of the legislation. Think about that. The constitution requires a simple majority for passage of most legislation, but Reid has agreed not to bring something to the floor unless it already has a filibuster proof majority. The Republicans in the Senate not only haven't had to filibuster to block legislation - they haven't even had to threaten to filibuster. That's not reaching out to Republicans, that's dropping your pants and bending over for Republicans.

We have gridlock because one party, the Republicans, wants gridlock. We have gridlock because one party, the Republicans, agree with Bush advisor Grover Norquist that bipartisanship is another name for date rape. We have gridlock becasue the Republicans know they are out of ideas of their own, and just want to prevent the Democrats from enacting any of their ideas. Obama's personality will not change any of that. The only way to break the current gridlock is to elect more Democrats, especially a Democratic President who knows we have to fight to make things happen.

We don't need another centrist Democrat. We don't need another middle-of-the-road Democrat. We need to recognize the truth of what Jim Hightower once said in another of my favorite political quotes - "The only thing in the middle of the road are yellow stripes and dead armadillos."

Because we are going to have to fight. This coming election is going to be the ugliest Presidential election in my lifetime. This is the last gasp of the current Republican party, and they are going to do whatever they can, to whomever they have to, to hold onto the Presidency. The Republicans know they can't win on the merits, so they are going to attempt to absolutely destroy as a person whoever the Democratic nominee turns out to be.

(Brief digression. You hate to give any credence to the lunatic fringers who think Bush/Cheney will stage a coup to remain President, but is it really so hard to think a coup is something the current administration would reject out of hand? Indeed, the main reason I think a coup unlikely is not that the administration wouldn't attempt it, it's that the U.S. military establishment is going to be as happy to see the Bush presidency end as the majority of the country will be. You can't pull off a coup, at least not one that lasts more than a day, if the military doesn't support it.)

You know, it would be nice if we could all sit around the campfire, hold hands, sing Kum-ba-yah, and bring about change. It would also be nice if the lottery ticket I purchased this afternoon wins tonight. But the odds of either of those things happening are pretty much the same: slim and none, and slim just left town. We are going to have a bloody, vicious fight on our hands, and I don't know that Obama is up for it.

Like I said previously, if Obama is the nominee, he has my vote and not in some "I guess I can hold my nose and vote for him" kind of way. He'll have my enthusiastic support. But I'm not ready to make nice right now, and I wish like hell he felt the same way.

And with that, let's close with the Dixie Chicks.

Deep Thought For The Day

With your kids, you can sit them down and try to explain why certain things they do are wrong as well as what the appropriate future behavior should be. With your dogs, you're pretty much reduced to saying "bad" over and over.

But hey, how can I stay mad at those faces?

Clemens, Petitte Asked to Speak to Congress

Well, that's more fun than a shot in the ass.

You Tube Fun: Funky Female Singers Edition

Jill Sobule




Lisa Loeb



Liz Phair (NSFW)

This

Is one of the funniest things I’ve seen in a long, long time. What a great parody ad.



What? This is real? Seriously?

Fun With Commercials

Saw a very bizarre commercial this evening. It opens with six older men in a shack, a band of some sort, playing a song. It didn't register at first, but after a few lyrics I knew it was Viva Las Vegas. Well, the bastardized version of Viva Las Vegas that Viagra is using as it's theme song. Six guys, singing the praises of Viagra, without a woman in sight. In fact, there weren't any women that appeared at any time in the commercial. Just six men, singing the praises of Viagra.

Not that there's anything wrong with it...

The Announcement You've All Been Waiting For

Barring Al Gore jumping into the race sometime in the next 22 hours, I'll be caucusing tomorrow evening for John Edwards. (Mitt, I could be per$uaded to caucu$ for you.)

It's a fairly easy decision for me. The older I get, the more I self-identify as progressive, and Edwards is the only one of the top three candidates who is pushing a progressive agenda. As to the other main two, Obama very obviously crafts his message to appeal to progressives, but a close inspection reveals that not only is his agenda not progressive, it actually incorporates many Republican talking points. (Not to mention the cult of personality that is developing around him.) Clinton is too much of the consummate inside politician for my tastes, not to mention that a Clinton win would mean we had at least twenty-four years where our President had one of two last names. There's something about that fact that grates on me. Oh, I gladly vote for either in the general if they are the nominee. But right now, I can side with the person I most want. So Edwards it is.

You Tube Fun - Things You Don't Expect To Hear In Places You Don't Expect To Hear Them Edition

So I'm walking through Wal-Mart this morning before work, stopping in to get a quick breakfast tv dinner and to check out the toy department. The tune on the Muzak seemed vaguely familiar, though I was unable to recognize it a first. The more I listened, the more I realized I did know it. It was the Galaxy Song.

This Galaxy Song



Though it wasn't Python. I googled later and found out the Clint Black recorded the song, which was what was playing at Wal-Mart, though with a rather significant change at the end. Where Python ends with "There's bugger all down here on the earth" the Clint Black version ends with "We're cheated out of it down here on the earth." I truly hope to hear this next time, performed by Toby Keith



Or maybe this by Martina McBride



Special Bonus Video

So How Does That Work Exactly?

Overheard during the Gaylord Hotels-Music City Bowl broadcast.

"Half of Florida State's front seven was suspended..."

Okay. So one guy was only half suspended? Does that mean he gets to dress and take the field, but he can't make any effort once he's out there?

Later on we got this.

"I think a lot of people don't remember what it was like to be in college, and many of us, had we gotten the opportunity to cheat on a final exam, might have taken it."

All right. Is there something you're trying to tell us? Something that's eaten at your conscience for years and years?

X-Mas You Tube Fun: Saving The Best For Last

Bruuuuuuce



Robert Earl Keen



Judy Garland in Meet Me In St. Louis

X-Mas You Tube Fun: MTV Edition

Billy Squier (with my lost love Martha Quinn in the background)



Brian Seitzer



Hall and Oates



John Mellencamp

X-Mas You Tube Fun: Baby Please Come Home Edition

Bruce Springsteen and Jon Bon Jovi



Mariah carey



and of course, Darlene Love

X-Mas You Tube Fun: South Park Edition

You Tube Fun: Pick 'Em Edition

A



Or B



A



Or B



A



Or B

Ron (Batshit Crazy Is As Batshit Crazy Does) Paul

I was driving a lunch today, running down to Panchero's to get a burrito. (Oh right - I'm employed again - did I mention that?) I turned on the radio, and as is the case for all of us in the Hawkeye state right now, got treated to several commercials for presidential candidates. These usually all blend together, depending on the candidate's party. Every single ad for a Republican seems to be some variant of "Bad people, most of them with brownish skin but one of them being the wife of a former President, want to do bad things to you and I'm the only one who can protect you" while every single ad for a Democrat seems to be some variant of "Together, we can make the United States a better place as long as you, yes you, vote for me". Republicans sell fear, Democrats sell hope. And Ron Paul? Ron Paul sells batshit craziness.

The commercial starts out with Ron telling us about the evils of NAFTA. So far, so good, Republican candidate traveling down fear of brown people road. But then Ron starts to go, well, most people would call it going astray, but Ron probably calls it going to the point.

"There are powerful interests trying to eliminate the Mexican and Canadian borders." What the fuck? Seriously, what the fuck? Care to name, oh, ONE of these powerful interests? I'm not saying there isn't anyone in this country who doesn't wish for the elimination of the Mexican and Canadian borders, but I'm betting the people who do are also wishing for the UFOs to land and bring us peace and prosperity. It is not a position that sane people take, certainly not publicly. Powerful interests. Powwwwwerful interests! Can someone get Ron his meds, stat?

"The NAFTA Superhighway will extend from Mexico to Canada, going right through Iowa, destroying 4,000 family farms." Uhm, Ron? Interstate 35 already goes from pretty damn close to the Texas-Mexico border to pretty damn close to the Minnesota-Canada border, running right through Iowa. And quite frankly, most of us are glad it does. As for the family farms - well, I haven't looked the number up, but my gut instinct tells me there probably aren't 4,000 family farms left in the state. After all, with 99 counties, there would have to be over 40 family farms per county to get to four thousand family farms in the state, and that seems incredibly unlikely. Further, even if there were some new north-south highway being planned to cut across the state (and there isn't), it is doubtful that it would cross through all 99 counties. At most - a very unlikely most, but one I'm choosing for ease of mathematics - it crosses 20 counties. (Interestate 35 crosses 10 as it goes across Iowa; the Avenue of the Saints crosses 13). There would have to be 200 family farms per county for such a road to claim 4,000 family farms. There probably isn't one county in the state that has over 200 family farms in it, let alone 20.

Wikipedia shows that there is a proposed state-wide highway in Texas which will result in the creation of several traffic corridors that run from Mexico all the way to - you guessed it - Oklahoma. Oklahoma. No talk of this running to Canada, or even Iowa, but hey - when you're a paranoid batshit crazy asshat it doesn't take much to get your imagination running.

So Republicans, please make Ron Paul your presidential candidate. Or Rudy. Or Mitt. Or Fred. Or Huckabee. Or - well, actually, the whole Republican field is filled with nothing but second stringers, losers, and has beens, and at this point in time, at least, everyone of them would get waxed in the general election. But Ron Paul would probably be the most fun.

Unintentional Analogies

So, yesterday I found myself at a stoplight behind a car with an Obama bumper sticker. Not one of the small ones, but one of the big ones. The driver was signaling a left turn, but when the light changed, he actually turned right. This struck me as a perfect, though unintentional, analogy for the entire Obama campaign.

Speaking of Dogs

I have been a dog owner for over six years of my life and a cat owner for over six years of my life. Thus, I feel I am qualified to comment on the differences between cats and dogs. The truth about cats and dogs, if you will.

Anyway, here is the biggest difference between cats and dogs (besides cats being much more of a pain to take care of than dogs - a fact most would dispute but, if you've ever had to take care of both at the same time, you know is indisputable). If you are sitting down, and a cat is sitting next to you, and you get up to go to another room to get something, the cat will look at you disdainfully for disturbing its comfort but otherwise ignore you. If you are sitting down, and a dog is sitting next to you, and you get up to go to another room to get something, the dog will follow eagerly, because the dog is deathly afraid he or she is going to miss something important, probably food related, but possibly related to going outside.

And that's the biggest difference between cats and dogs.

You Tube Fun - Triumph Edition

On Hollywood Squares



With Bon Jovi



2004 Presidential Debate

Happy Thanksgiving!

Here's The Thing

Don't know your feelings on the writer's strike, but I wholeheartedly support it. Here are some links to some posts outlining the issues at the always great Kung Fu Monkey. Be sure to read through the comments as well. Other good posts can be found at Ken Levine's Blog, and the unofficial official blog of the strike can be found at United Hollywood.

Across The Universe

(Note: This was written as a message board post, but I think it's good enough to post here as well. It's not like anyone is reading anyway.)

Across The Universe - see it. Now.

It's a movie - a musical that, like Moulin Rouge and Singin' In The Rain before it, uses pre-existing, not original, music for the musical numbers. However, unlike those two films, the music is all taken from one group - the Beatles. In fact, the more I think about it, the best way to describe it would be to say the movie takes place in the universe of the Beatles catalog.

The main characters (and many of the minor ones) all take their names from characters in Beatles' songs. Our lead is Jude, a young Liverpudian shipbuilder who comes to the U.S. to find his father, a U.S. soldier stationed in England during WWII. While here he meets Max (Maxwell), Max's sister Lucy, and several others who all make their way to New York City. Some of the Beatles connections are obvious - we are introduced to a character named Prudence, and yes Dear Prudence is eventually one of the songs. On the other hand, though we see Max at one point banging on a fan with a big silver hammer, that song never appears. Some of the other Beatles connections are not so obvious, or at least force you to be paying attention. Jude's girlfriend in the opening scenes when he is still in Liverpool is named Molly. Near the close of the movie, Jude has returned to Liverpool and is once more working on the docks. Molly, has married Jude's co-worker Desmond. Desmond's name isn't mentioned at the start of the movie; Molly's name isn't mentioned at the end of the movie.

The film is set in the mid- to late 60s (though the timeline is a little loose and, ultimately, not that important to the tale) with events that mirror the 60s in the real universe. One of the best things about the film is how those events are presented in a way that makes it impossible not to relate them to our current world situation, yet at no time is the viewer hit over the head with that connection. It's just there. (As Ebert says in his review "It's not political, which means it's political to it's core.")

The performances are first-rate. The main cast is mostly unknowns, with Evan Rachel Wood being the biggest name among the leads. The leads do almost all of the singing as well, and they do it quite well, especially when you take into account that many of the musical performances used in the film were recorded live on set, a rarity in a time when most film musical performances are recorded in perfect recording situations and then dubbed in. There are three guest appearances that are absolutely perfect. Joe Cocker sings Come Together as three different characters - a homeless street singer, a pimp, and a hippie. Bono shows up as a Ken Kesey pastiche and sings I Am The Walrus. Eddie Izzard is Mr. Kite, singing, well, Being For The Benefit Of Mr. Kite. (Bono also sings Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds over the closing credits.)

The film is beautifully photographed, with a bright mix of colors and several extended pyschedelic sequences (one after the characters drink the Kesey characters red Kool-Aid). It's also spectacularly choreographed. The director, Julie Taymor (director of several broadway productions, including The Lion King), does most of the choreography herself.
The songs are used wonderfully; some are presented in a straightforward manner much like most musicals. For instance, I've Just Seen A Face takes place in a bowling alley right after Jude meets Lucy, and it could almost be a music video, it's such a literal translation of the song. On the other hand, the aforementioned I Am The Walrus begins with the main cast having just drunk the acid, slowly transforms into a psychedelic dream, melts into all the characters on the Kesey-esque bus as merry pranksters, and ends at the farm of a Doctor Geary.

The arrangements also vary, from straightforward versions that are remarkably faithful to the originals to radical reinventions that bring out meaning you might not have seen before. One of the best examples (I was reluctant to use it, as Ebert mentions it in his review, but it is one of the best examples) is I Want To Hold Your Hand. That song takes on a poignancy, a deep sadness, when the hand belongs to a person the singer can never hold hands with.

Like most musicals, it's not a film for literalists. It's a film that forces the viewer to commit, to relinquish themselves, to almost become a part of the film in much the same way that live theatre forces audiences to become part of the proceedings. (Yeah, that's vague - you either know what I mean or don't, and if you don't, I can't explain it any better than that.) I can't think of a film I've seen recently that had me smiling as much, that hit me as hard emotionally in the painful spots, that had me cheering inside as much that the two main characters would get together while still having doubts about whether or not they would. In spirit and energy it reminds me most of Hair, though in execution it is a far different animal. As I left the theatre I immediately set out to make two purchases - the Across the Universe soundtrack and a copy of Hair on DVD. I found the former (there were two versions, a 16-song version with selected songs and a 31-song two-disc version with all the songs from the film, which is the version I got and have listened to more or less non-stop since buying), couldn't find the latter.

I would assume that if the film is still playing here in small-town Iowa then it shouldn't be difficult to find anywhere bigger. I intend to see it again this weekend. So you should see it. Now.
So see it. Now.

Trailers





Links:
Ebert Review
Film Ick Review and Essay

My Friend Ethan and His Spider-Man Pillow

Ethan's gone, back with his mother, now in Delaware. More later. I just wanted to share this: we were standing at the Southwest ticket counter at Midway. Ethan was holding his Spider-Man pillow, and the attendant said "That's a cute pillow." She turned away and he motioned that he wanted to tell me something. I leaned down, and he said, exasperatedly, "It's not cute - it's cool." Which, as far as I'm concerned, is both cute and cool. That's my boy.

An Open Letter To The Host Of The Golden Harvest Hawkeye Huddle Post-Game Radio Show

Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shutupshutupshutupshutup shut the fuck up you fucking fuck. No one - NO ONE - wants to hear you interrupt the discussion of the key defensive plays of the game with your little story about you and your wife watching We Are Marshall. No one.

Thanks!

Dweeze

Scent Of A Woman

There is a scent you find in all strip clubs. (So I am told. I do not speak from personal experience.) It's a strange mix of a floral-scented baby powder and a sharp perfume. Every dancer smells of it; the next day you can pick your shirt up and still catch the scent from where the dancer pressed herself against you during a private dance. (So I am told. I do not speak from personal experience.) You very rarely smell it outside of a strip club, and you never expect to encounter it someplace like, oh, the Children's Museum, where it radiates of the very hot mom who came in as you were leaving. (So I assume. I do not speak from personal experience.)

An Open Letter To The Woman Sweeping At The Tanger Outlet McDonald's This Afternoon

You know, the thing that really ticked me off wasn't when you asked if my grandson and I were having a fun afternoon. While I don't think it's particularly exceptional, I know it is probably out of the ordinary for a 48-year old man to have a five-year old son. And there is certainly a ton of gray in my goatee and what there is of my hair. I wasn't pleased, mind you, but that isn't what really ticked me off. What really ticked me off is the fact that, after I icily said "He's my son" (and yes, it was icily) you didn't apologize and disappear. In fact, you stayed, without apology, and tried to engage us in conversation.

Now, I realize that McDonald's doesn't really pay you friendly grandmother types to sweep the floor. You're there to be friendly, to make sure the customers are enjoying their individual McDonaldland experience. So engaging people in conversation is your real job. However, an important component of that job is realizing that there are some people who do not want to be engaged in conversation, particularly after you've semi-insulted them. I'm personally content sharing my McDonaldland experience only with my son, thank you, and don't feel the need to discuss the weather or the meal or our day with a total stranger. That you weren't able to figure this out, even after I replied to your offer to get us anything else with a dismissive "No thanks, we don't need anything from you" (and yes, it was dismissive), that you still tried to engage us in conversation after that, would suggest that you aren't that good at your job. So next time we come in, think twice about coming up to engage us in conversation.

Thanks

Glen and Gary and Glen and Ross

It's funny, but what might be the most famous scene from Glengarry Glen Ross isn't a part of the stage show. Mamet added the Alec Baldwin character specifically for the movie, and it ended up being the scene everyone remembers. Here's a nice little (NSFW) send-up (link via Ken Levine.)



Directing this show for Dreamwell is easily among my list of favorite things I've done in the theatre. (The only thing I would rank higher was acting as Mr. Peachum in Threepenny. Being Elwood Dodd in Harvey rounds out my top three.) The cast was great, a true all-star team, and it was a blast to work with them and watch them and help them (not that they needed it). Here's a link to some photos from the production.

Happy Birthday E!

The cutest little boy in the world turned five today. Hard to believe it's been five years - seems like only yesterday he was born. To think that if he had been born a month earlier, he would have started school this year. Here are some recent photos, courtesy the Canon A630 (everyone should have one!).

Okay, blogger is apparently having a problem with uploading images right now. So I'll get those later. In the meantime, it's enough to post to say

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ETHAN!

One Restaurant I Will No Longer Patronize

Local tenderloin joint shut down due to roach infestation. Film at eleven, story at the PC.

You know, I can understand that this is probably the death-knell for Joensy's, but this is funny nonetheless:

Joens initially denied his restaurant had roaches, according to the report. Weber pointed out live roaches to which Brian Joens said he could not see them, according to the report. It wasn't until a box was moved and several roaches scrambled down the wall the Joens admitted to seeing them, the report stated.

"Roaches? We ain't got no roaches here!" pause "Oh, those roaches!"

Dog Costume Time!

Fall is in the air. The autumnal equinox is almost upon us. Football season is underway. The leaves are turning, and Halloween is just around the corner. And we all know what that means - dog costumes! Dog costumes are among the finer forms of comedy. Here we have a dog that was apparently eaten by Big Bird.

Of course, eaten by Big Bird is a better fate than what Bert is seemingly doing to this dog.

Moving on from Sesame Street, let's look at the Star Wars selections. Yoda and Leia are annual classics - and look how happy those pups are!

Dog costume fever - catch it!

Is Clumsiness Inherited?

I was going to post on how one of the aspects of parenthood no one mentions is the way you start to see the potential in every single thing on the planet to maim or kill your child in some freakish accident. In trying to put together these thoughts, something occurred to me. See, I've had more than my fair share of freakish accidents in which I found some way to main myself. I put a hand through a screen door once, cutting it up pretty badly. I jumped onto a picnic table, slipped, and hit a nail that punctured my cheek. Once, while recreating Mt. Rushmore on a pile of dirt in the front yard, I slipped and cut my knee on a piece of metal the street workers had left. Those, and more, all happened before I had reached high school.

These incidents have carried on into adulthood. I've had cuts, bruises, burns, broken bones. I've had stitches and casts. I almost choked to death in a restaurant kitchen when I was refilling a water softener and my tie got in the way of the rush of softener salt. And let's not get started on things that could have proved dangerous but somehow didn't. Like the time in high school when a group of us tried to see who could get the best-looking stunt man roll of the hood of a (slowly) moving car. My oldest nephew actually broke some bones doing that.

So maybe it isn't that those worries are an aspect of parenthood for anyone. Maybe I'm just worried that E will turn out to be as accident-prone as myself. Here's hoping he isn't.

Congrats

Congrats to Colleen Coover and Paul Tobin, who recently got married in Portland, Oregon. Regular customers at Daydreams Comics, here in Iowa City, will recognize the couple as former Daydreams workers. What you might not know is that both of them have been doing work recently for Marvel. Colleen has drawn back-up stories in X-Men First Class, Paul has written some pieces for Spider-Man Family, and the two have a story written by Paul and drawn by Colleen coming up in October's Spider-Man Family. You two probably don't know me as Dweeze, but you might remember me as David. Congrats on the wedding and the career!

Linkage Tweakage

Did some major linkage updates - one thing I want to point out and the rest you can explore on your own, IF YOU DARE!

Sorry. Got carried away. Anyway, a new link I want to point out. Matt's started a blog devoted to the Iowa City theatre scene called, appropriately enough, The Iowa City Theatre Blog. I'll be posting there from time to time.

I Am Such A Geek

The Iron Man trailer, debuting May 2, 2008



Downey looks absolutely perfect. It's brilliant casting.

You Tube Fun: Robot Chicken Star Wars Edition

"Who's they? What the hell is an aluminum falcon?....Do you have any idea what this is going to do to my credit?"

You Tube Fun: Pick 'Em Edition

A



Or B?



A



Or B?



A



Or B?



The correct answers are:

A, B, A

My New Toy

When I was working my temp assignment, one of my old co-workers had just returned from vacation in Colorado. Prior to going, he had purchased a new digital camera at a shop in Cedar Rapids. He was quite taken with the camera, and had some great pictures. The kicker was, the camera was very reasonably priced. So, the day Ethan was scheduled to come back, I went up to the shop in Cedar Rapids and picked one up for myself. Camera (an 8-pixel Canon A-630 Powershot), 2 G memory card, and case were $300. Well, actually, $300.59.

So far, I'm loving the camera. Here's some shots I took this afternoon at the Family Fun Night at Coral Ridge Mall.

And we'll see if this uploads, but the camera even takes digital video. (Note: The video was huge - 37 M - and after an hour of trying to get it to load, I gave up. But it looks great.)

Grand Theft Doggo

It's amazing how far video games have come. I mean, look at this old Atari cartridge I found lying around the house.

(Made with the Atari label maker. H/t to Dave's Long Box.)

More Open Letters

To The Lady In The Silver Gray Corolla In Front Of Me At The 965-Commerce Drive Intersection:

If the light turns yellow and the rear tires of your car are already in the intersection, you don't have to stop. Indeed, at that point it's probably for the best that you keep going forward, because the person behind you waiting at the light has probably A: seen the light turn yellow, B: seen your car in the intersection, C: assumed that you weren't some sort of idiot who was going to hit the brakes and back up out of the intersection and therefore D: gunned it in order to make it through the yellow light, thus resulting in a near collision.

Thanks

The Guy Who Almost Rammed Your Car This Afternoon

Even More Admissions You Don't Expect Rachel Ray To Make

"I've got a pound of sweet sausage ready to go."

So do I, Rachel Ray.

So

do

I.

Why?

My son is now in the "Why?' stage of life. Almost everything he gets told is responded to with a "Why?" It's an interesting stage. On the one hand, it's an opportunity to educate, to inform, to teach. On the other, it's incredibly annoying. Plus, after you've said that the sun is hot because it's a flaming ball of gas, there really isn't a satisfactory answer to the question "Why is the sun a ball of gas?" other than "Because". Still, it's nice to be regarded as someone who knows everything, because I know it won't be long until I'm regarded as someone who knows nothing.

Where's The Beef? In MY Pants!

Man arrested after trying to shoplift two steaks from John's Grocery by stuffing the steaks down his pants. Film at eleven, story in the Press Citizen.

Iowa City police arrested a man Thursday after trying to steal two Angus ribeye steaks from the meat cooler at John's Grocery at 401 E. College St.

But the defendant, Earl Scott Surette, 47, of North Liberty didn't just try to walk out with the steaks. According to police, an employee at John's saw Surette stick the two steaks down his pants and walk out the front door without paying.

...

Police reports state Surette had red, bloodshot and watery eyes, slurred speech and smelled of alcohol. He also had an open container of alcohol and "directed profanity at officers." The police report also states Surette had "problems with judgment."

Problems with judgment. Good thing that's not a crime.

So Where Were We Part Deux

Okay, I'm pushing violating my own "You must post at least once a month" rule, and I'm sure we're all tired of that You Tube post by now. So where were we?

Oh yeah, I had just been punted from my job. What have you been doing since then, Dweeze, you're all wondering. My, you're a nosy bunch. But I'll tell you anyway.

As for the job search - well, let's call it more of a job scan. I haven't really put much effort into it yet, for a variety of reasons. I did just finish (last Friday) a temporary assignment at my old employer. It wasn't in the department I was in when I got canned, but the department I was in 10 years ago. It was strange doing work I used to do, work I was good at though didn't really love. It was also strange working with people I worked with a decade ago. Indeed, aside from three people who were new, everyone else was still there from when I was there last. That struck me, and continues to strike me, as rather bizarre. It's an operations department, the people are all very smart, and only a few have left for greener pastures. The rest have stayed.

It was very nice and yet very wierd. It was nice because it offered me some small shred of dignity after getting tossed out unceremoniously after 15 years. Nice because of the number of people who stopped me to tell me how shocked they had been that I got let go. I got told several times that "If you could get re-organized out, no one is safe." Very nice words to hear. It was weird, in addition to the situation described above, because I feld sadder leaving last Friday than I did the day I was canned, and I feel emptier today than I did the first day after I got canned. I'd say it was because this time I don't think I'll ever be back, but I didn't think I would ever be back last time. No, it's because when I left last time I was in shock, and I stayed in shock for a week or so. No shock this time. Just the sensation of being unemployed.

Still, it has it's benefits. Chief among them is the fact that later today I will see Ethan for the first time since March. He'll be here for a few months, and me not working means I can spend much more time with him than I could if I were employed. So that's a benefit, and I'm sure I'll have more to say about it later.

Another benefit has come healthwise. I was going to make this another post, but that was a couple of months ago. Shortly before I was let go, I had finally decided to go to the doctor. I hate going to the doctor, but I was having pains in the chestal area, and I don't want to ever catch Landru in the "Major Cardiac Event" category. This, however, wasn't enough to get me to go to the doctor. The tipping point came during AED-Defibrulator training, when I realized that I didn't want to be a statistic. The doctor did an EKG, and the heart was normal. No worries there. My weight, on the other hand, as well as my blood sugar, cholesterol, and blood pressure, were extremely high.

I've been put on medication for the blood pressure and cholesterol and I'm watching the diet and exercising for the blood sugar and weight. I'm down over 20 pounds in two months time, and the blood pressure has dropped considerably as well. As much as I want to credit what I've done, it's more what I haven't done - without vending machines to go to, I go all day without snacking. I briefly shot up the first week of the temp assignment, then forced myself into a strict no-sweets policy during the day, and I'm back almost to where I was when I began the assignment. So that's a positive. I had been at 283, I had gotten to 258, and right now I'm at 262. My goal by the end of the year is 220. Ambitious, yes, but worth it if I can get there. For one thing, those chest pains? Gone. I don't know if it was related to carrying the extra weight around, but they're gone.

One other positive thing. The casino in Riverside is having a $100,000 guarantee tournament Labor Day weekend. Seats are $600, or you can win a seat in a $30 qualifier tournament. Guess who won a seat? Yep. There were over 70 people in the tourney, 6 people won seats, and I was one of them. Later that week I went to a cash tourney, made the final table, took tenth place, and won $65 from a $30 entry. In three trips, to three different tourneys, I've made the final table twice. Not bad if I do say so myself.

Anyway, that makes for a nice catch-up post. I'll do my best to keep posting. Or posting more regularly. Or keeping regular. Something like that.