Iowa Basketball: Part One - A New Hope

I'm an Iowan, a grad of the U of I, and a fan of Hawkeye athletics. As such, I am required by state law to have an opinion on the basketball coaching situation. Fortunately for all of my readers (both of my readers?), I do. Let's organize them into some nice groups, split them into several posts, and with any luck, I finish before a new coach is named. Let's start by discussing the man of the moment, Steve Alford.

One of the things you see said most often is that Alford caused a split among Hawkeye fans. He didn't. The split existed before he got here. It was a split between fans who liked Dr. Tom Davis, the previous coach, and those who wanted him gone, despite the fact that he was incredibly successful and a wonderful human being. These were the people who wanted a coach to take us to the next level, because competing for a Big Ten title every year, making a postseason tournament and winning a game or two every year, well, that just wasn't good enough. No, these fans wanted a different coach, and they were loud enough and vocal enough that they convinced the Athletic Director to give Dr. Tom his walking papers. Oh, sure, he was given one last year before he was forced out, but he was forced out, and the fans played the greatest role in that process. More on those fans later.

Enter Steve Alford. Alford was hired from a small school in a mid-major conference. In his four years there he had two teams that did well and two teams that didn't. He had never coached at a major college in a major conference. But a deep run in the NCAA tourney that year made him the hot coach, and everyone thought we were lucky to get him. Everyone including Alford. See, he was a cocky guy - always had been, going back to his playing days. But that's what we wanted, see, we wanted that cockiness, that swagger, because, well, because. These were things that were common knowledge about the man when we hired him.

But here's the thing. There's a very thin line between being cocky and being an arrogant prick, and guys who have had only a moderate level of success at a small college are going to have a lot to learn about coaching at a major college in a major conference. Which means that we had, in essence, hired an arrogant prick who had a lot to learn. Guess how well that went over, especially among fans who had regarded Alford as the savior come to lead us to the promised land.

Well, he didn't. Instead he came in and got off to a rough start among Iowa faithful. There's a litany of fan complaints - he never took responsibility for anything that went wrong, he blamed his players, he took all the credit, he didn't recruit well, he was a bad in-game coach, he rubbed people the wrong way with his attitude - and they are all accurate. At least they were all accurate with regards with his first few years here.

But there's this thing human beings do - they grow, they change, and Alford was no exception. He changed, he grew, and by the time he left last week most of those complaints were no longer valid, or at least were not valid to the extent to which they were when he first came here, because we all occasionally fall back on our old habits, no matter who we are. But the instances of the behavior fans complained about, that fans still complain about (check out some of the fan letters in today's Press-Citizen for examples, and keep that link handy, because we'll be coming back to it in Part Two), became fewer and farther between.

There was one complaint that didn't go away, however, the complaint that he rubbed people the wrong way. Now, I think it's fair to ask if people would have been so annoyed with him if the Alford we got the last four years had been the Alford we got the first four years. Personally, I don't think they would have been. But that's irrelevant speculation at best, because the fact of the matter is that by the time Alford left last week, there was a vast contingent of fans so thoroughly annoyed with the man that it didn't matter what future success he might have here, he was never going to be accepted.

Don't believe me? Then you're wrong. The aforementioned Dr. Tom had the sort of record many fans now claim is what they want most. Further, even his detractors regarded him as a genuinely nice human being. Yet it wasn't good enough. It wasn't the mythical next level. Alford, who these fans regard as Satan incarnate - well, maybe not Satan incarnate, but Lord knows, they don't like him - would not be given any breaks for anything. How do I know that? Because he wasn't given any this year.

Think back to our season last year - we contended for the Big Ten regular season title, we won the Big Ten tourney, we didn't lose a game at home, and we graduated two of the most popular players in recent history. If there was ever a coach who had earned himself a free pass for a year, it was Alford. And what did he do this year? He took a young and inexperienced team that was a preseason favorite to finish ninth in the Big Ten and finished in a tie for fourth. Fourth! His reward for finishing fourth? A de facto vote of no confidence from the Athletic Director and fan scorn.

So he left. Took another job. You can't really blame him for that. You can blame him, however, for his return to form that he had seemed to have shaken, for the potshots at the school and the program, for his "so long suckers" attitude in his departure. Tough to blame him entirely, though, because certainly many Iowa fans and media have earned that attitude. But that's better saved for another post.

(Yes, I know A New Hope is actually the title of what is now Star Wars 4. So sue me.) (I don't mean sue me literally - you'd have no grounds for any sort of court action.)

You Tube Fun - Dixie Chicks

Top Of The World



Lubbock Or Leave It



Godspeed



Goodbye Earl

You Know What's Weird?

You know what’s weird? Turning on MSNBC just before Countdown comes on, during the last few minutes of Hardball, and seeing a guy you went to law school with talking to Chris Matthews. Actually, “went to law school with” doesn’t go anywhere near far enough – there are plenty of people I went to law school with I never spoke with or knew personally. So let’s make that seeing a guy you went to law school with, a guy who was in your accelerated program class, a guy you went out drinking with fairly regularly, a guy who quarterbacked the flag football team you played on, a guy who came up with the idea of going to your ex-girlfriend’s house the night you broke up and demanding that she give the flowers you gave her to try to smooth things over back or at least reimburse you the cost of the flowers and was convincing enough about it that a bunch of you got in a car to go over and do it before deciding it was a bad idea after all, to see that guy, who is now, apparently, a fairly famous Democratic consultant, talking with Chris Matthews. That’s weird.

Cross-posted at DTV.

For Your Amusement

My Friend Ethan and His Friend Daddy

My Friend Ethan

Somewhere along the way, Ethan started referring to things as "My friend" as in "My friend Grandma" or "My friend Magic" (or "My friend Gunner", depending on which dog he was talking about) or my favorite, "My friend Daddy". Well, yesterday I left him and his mother at Midway airport in Chicago, after driving him in and spending a couple of days together as a family again. And now, I sit here trying not to cry, thinking about the fact that my friend Ethan is not with me, and I won't see him for another four months or so.

So much will change in that time, so many changes I won't see take place. In the last few weeks he had taken to opening his car door himself, and he could pull the seat belt all the way to the latch (though he wasn't able yet to figure out how to latch it). By the time I see him again he will be able to, and he won't need me to do that for him anymore, just as there are a dozen other things he doesn't need me to do for him anymore.

I miss him so much. It's amazing to feel both totally empty and yet filled with sorrow. I guess sorrow has no calories. I miss my little boy, who won't be quite so little the next time I see him. I miss how he affects others - as we were walking into a restaurant in Chicago a woman walking out saw him, smiled, and then said "He is going to break a lot of hearts when he grows up." I miss the fact that his favorite thing in the world was to jump on me, oftentimes catching me completly off-guard with a pounce on the stomach. I miss my friend Ethan. I miss my son Ethan.

I've been quiet the last couple of weeks as the time came to say goodbye for awhile. I'll probably be quiet for a few more as I readjust to things. (And it's not just me - as I started typing that sentence, I got a call from Lesa - Ethan was missing me and wanted to talk to me. And while he didn't talk, he did listen, and I talked and sang and made him smile. I tell ya, that kid and I are in tune with each other.) But just to prove I'll eventually be okay, I'll leave you with this:

You Tube Fun - Bruce Edition

Several Springsteen vids from a concert at the Hammersmith Odeon in 1975.

10th Avenue Freezeout



Spirits In The Night



Born To Run



She’s The One



and of course, Rosalita

Bribe, Scmibe

You know, part of me thinks this is funny.

Police took an Iowa City woman to jail for allegedly offering an officer a $17 bribe Wednesday morning.

While at the Summit Bar about 1:10 a.m., Iowa City Police said officers asked Amber Breanne Gordon, 19, of 801 Crosspark Ave. Apt 2B, for her ID. Gordon gave the officer the ID of another person, passing it off as her own, police said.

Gordon then asked if she could be let go with a warning, according to police reports. Police told her no, so then Gordon asked if she could give them money to let her go. Later, Gordon said she was "kind of joking" but said if the officer was "down," then she would pay, police said. Police said Gordon told the officer she had between $15 and $20. She actually had $17, police said.

Bribery is a class D felony punishable by up to five years in prison and a $7,500 fine. She also was cited for unlawful use of another's ID and possession of alcohol under the legal age.

She offered a bribe of $17 to make it go away, and she directly said she would give the money if the officer was “down”. She’s a moron. And who the fuck says “down”?

But then we get to this:

Iowa City Police Sgt. Troy Kelsay said he thinks attempted police bribes happen more frequently than what is charged.

"This is the way the officer decided to go," he said.

So, even though the cop had the discretion to do so, even though she was caught dead to rights on two other very serious charges, Officer Hardass decided to bust her on the bribery charge as well. What? Offended that the amount was too low? She may rank high on the moron scale, but Officer Fucktard ranks far higher on the asshole scale.

New Used Car

The replacement for the dead 1995 BMW 530i? A 1990 BMW 750i with fewer miles than the 1995 when we got it in 2002. It's in great, great condition - I had it checked out before purchasing, and the price was a reasonable $6,000. Let's face it - the only way I am ever going to afford a $70,000 car is to buy it when it's 17 years old.

The 7 series is a significantly bigger model than the old car, so those who rode in the old car, and who will probably ride in it again (I'm looking at you, Greenman) will have a lot more room. Which, considering the old car was fairly spacious, is saying a lot. It also has a huge engine - it's a frickin' 12-cylinder! It's also jet black, just like the old car, and has the same basic shape.

See ya on the road!

Don't Cry Over Spoilt Milk

Let me set the scene. Tuesday evening. I'm making supper for Ethan, Spongebob mac and cheese. I've boiled the mac and am getting ready to add the butter, milk, and processed cheese mix. There's a small amount of milk in one gallon at the front of the fridge. Ethan and I both usually drink water for supper, so that last bit has been there for awhile. I grab it, open it, take a quick swig, all without thinking. I'm swallowing before I realize it's sour.

I look at the expiration date, and it's over a week ago. It's too late to spit it out; it's already down. The taste will linger with me all night, staying with me past my supper, past ice cream, past brushing my teeth. It lingers with me til I get to sleep. But my first thought after drinking it stays with me as well: "I'm glad Ethan didn't taste that." And that, my friends, is to me the essence of parenthood. Being willing to drink the spoiled milk so your children don't have to.

Speaking Of Susanna Hoffs: You Tube Fun - Bangles Edition

Because you can never have enough Bangles. (Thanks to Landru for the inspiration.)

Walk Like An Egyptian



Live Walk Like An Egyptian



If She Knew What She Wants



Hazy Shade of Winter

You Say It's Your Birthday

I was doing some random Wiki reading on Pixar, and in the process tumbled onto the fact that there is a Wiki listing for births by year. Curious to see whether or not they listed me, I searched for 1959, then found the section for 1959 births. Sadly, no listing for Dweeze. There were names I knew I shared a birth year with: Bryan Adams, Rosanna Arquette, Rebecca De Mornay, Magic Johnson, Val Kilmer, John McEnroe, and Aidan Quinn among them. There were people I never knew I shared a birth year with but who I found it extremely cool to share a birth year with, people like Simon Cowell, Vincent D'Onofrio, Susanna Hoffs, Hugh Laurie, Keith Olbermann, David Hyde Pierce (that's uncanny, eh?), and Brian Seitzer. But there was one, extremely disturbing discovery I made there, and that was that I? Am older than Emeril. By 44 days, which means Emeril shares a birthdate with Ethan. Guess I need to teach him to say "Bam!"

I then proceeded on to the Wiki page for September 1, thinking maybe they had me listed there. I was familiar with many of the people born before me on September 1 - such folks as Edgar Rice Burroughs, Ann Richards, Lily Tomlin, Barry Gibb, and Gloria Estefan. There were others I didn't know, mostly born after me, like Clinton Portis, Zach Thomas, Jason Taylor, and notorious titfucker Brian Bellows. (Note: Language in video not safe for work, children, small animals, or people with common sense. H/T to Deadspin. If the video isn't playing, you can find it at Google Video here.)




However, I was dismayed to see several names sharing my birthday. Kenny Mayne is on there, and he actually shares my birthdate. Dr. Phil is a September 1 baby, as is Tim Hardaway. But the bad person to share a birthday with king is Mohammed Atta. I'm hoping I don't need to explain who he is; I imagine we're all familiar with his work. There's also not much farther you can go by way of making jokes after putting that fact out there, so if this post feels like it ends a bit abruptly, it's because it does end a bit abruptly.

Things You Don't Expect To See

I stopped at Target yesterday morning, after I dropped Ethan off at daycare. It was right after they had opened, and hardly any customers were in the store.

I was looking for a die cast Mater, from the movie Cars. Ethan already has one, but it’s disappeared someplace, and though we spent a good fifteen minutes last night looking for it, we couldn’t find it. I figured it would be much easier to buy a replacement, cause you really need two anyway, then spend more time tonight looking. You might call it laziness, but I call it a good use of $3.44. I also call it lazy.

So I headed back to toys, but before looking for the Cars cars, decided to look at action figures first. I did this because I always like to see what Toy Story toys are in stock. They are always coming out with new Buzz stuff, but hardly ever any new Woody toys. It’s Ethan’s favorite movie, but although he likes his Buzz Lightyears (of which he has, oh, ten or so different Buzz toys), he likes his Woody better.

Ladies…

So I like to go to the action figure aisle for that reason, and not to check out the Marvel Legends line of toys, and certainly not to see if they had the Marvel Legends Planet Hulk figure, which they did, and which was TEH AWESUM!!!!!

I’m standing there looking at Toy Story toys, and not, as I hope I made clear, TEH ABSOLUTELY AWESUM!!!!! Marvel Legends Planet Hulk figure, when I hear conversation coming from the next aisle. Because of the early hour, I assumed it was employees, until I caught this snippet of conversation.

Man One: So, what are you looking for?

Man Two: Hot Wheels 66 Camaro.

Man One: I thought you already had the ’66 Camaro?

Man Two: There’s a new paint variant.

Now, I know what the words “new paint variant” mean. It means there’s a new version of the collectable (toy) and for the true collector, new versions must be obtained. Kinda like the new Marvel Legends Planet Hulk action figure, but obviously not as AWESUM!!!!!

The conversation registers with me, but I don’t think twice about it. I’m a big time comic book collecting geek myself, and I am understanding and accepting of other people’s collecting geek natures. And face it, I’ve used the comic version of “paint variant” in serious conversation before.

I move out of the action figure aisle and start looking for the aisle where the Cars die cast cars are located. Coincidentally enough, or maybe obviously enough, they were in the same aisle as the Hot Wheels die cast cars, which just so happened to be the aisle from which the voices were emanating.

I turn down that aisle, and there, discussing Hot Wheels paint variants, were two men who can only be described as old and grizzly. They were straight out of a central casting prospector casting call. Mid-sixties, white hair and beards, ball caps, workman coats. These were the men talking about Hot Wheels paint variants.

But that’s not the good part. This is the good part.

I see several racks of Cars die cast cars. One of the old men has just set several packages of Hot Wheels on the shelf right in front of the Cars cars. When he sees me heading towards the racks, he immediately assumes I am making a move on his Hot Wheels, rushes to them, and snaps at me “These are mine!”

Yep. I got snarled at by a grizzled old man who was worried I was trying to take his toys. Is there any better way to start your day?

The other man laughs, dismissively says “He’s just looking at those movie cars”, and then laughs again. I say nothing, looking solely at the movie cars long enough to figure out they didn’t have what I wanted, then head out. But not before I hear one ask the other “You going to Wal-Mart next or getting breakfast?” and ascertaining that they do this every day new stock is put on the shelves which I completely understand, since every Wednesday much lunch time is taken up going down to Daydreams to pick up new comics.

So rock on, Hot Wheels collecting old man. Rock on.

Belated You Tube Fun

I forgot to do a You Tube post last Friday, so let’s consider this either a very late Friday You Tube or a double You Tube for this week.

You Tube is a wonderful place. I know it makes for easy blogging, but it’s nice to find the clips I like there, then post them here where I can access them easier. And did I mention it makes for easy blogging?

Dweeze Solves Problems

Apparently, VP Dick Cheney is making noises about taking steps to stop the resurgence of the Taliban in Afghanistan. Well, we are Corn’O’Copia are always anxious to help. So here is my simple three step plan to stop the resurgence of the Taliban.

Step One: Get a functioning time machine, go back to the summer of 2002.

Step Two: Scrap plans for invasion of Iraq.

Step Three: Get her to open the box. Wait, that’s something else. Forget that.

Step Three: Ramp up U.S. forces in Afghanistan.

See how easy that was? And not only did I stop the resurgence of the Taliban, a group that actually helped attack us, but I prevented the worst foreign policy disaster in our nation’s history, the invasion of a country that had nothing to do with the attacks on us and which posed no threat whatsoever to us. Further, aside from the time machine thing, it’s so simple, a child could do it!

Oh #&%*^

I saw my first ad of the 2008 presidential campaign tonight.

Let me repeat that for my non-Iowa readers.

My first ad of the 2008 presidential campaign.

That's right, less than four months after the 2006 mid-term elections, during which ads seemed to be nonstop, candidates are already airing ads in Iowa in anticipation of the 2008 caucuses.

Now I know there are those who decry the fact that Iowa and New Hampshire have the traditional opening rounds of the presidential election. I think there is a good argument for having those two states as the opening effort. But there is a drawback, aside from the sniping we get from other states, and that drawback is that

THE FIRST ADS OF THE 2008 CAMPAIGN ARE ALREADY FUCKING AIRING!!!!!

Our offender? Mitt Romney, who, though there was no chance in hell was getting my vote, is definitely crossed off the Dweeze list for airing

THE FIRST FUCKING AD OF THE 2008 CAMPAIGN IN FEBRUARY 2007!!!!!!

For Those Who Had 02/20/07 In The Pool

Britney checks into rehab.

I Want My DTV

DTV, the new blog, is now on the air.

Speaking of Buffy

Well, it wouldn’t be Friday without some You Tube fun, right? So let’s start out with a musical cat, courtesy of Daily Kos.



But this post mentioned Buffy, right? Right. It did. How observant of you. That’s because Sarah Michelle Geller appears near the very end of this next video. It’s a fun, fun little song by Bree Sharp called David Duchovny. This clip was supposedly made as a birthday present for Duchovny by the X-Files crew and other friends. There are a ton of celebrity cameos. The video transfer is bad, but the audio is okay and it’s worth watching.



The lyrics, in case you’re interested:

It's Sunday night, I am curled up in my room
The TV light fills my heart like a balloon
I hold it in as best I can
I know I'm just another fan
But I can't help feeling I could love this secret agent man
And I can't...

Wait any more for him to discover me
I got it bad for David Duchovny
David Duchovny, why won't you love me?
Why won't you love me?

My friends all tell me,
"Girl, you know it's just a show,"
But deep within his eyes
I see me wrapped up like a ball
Watching the sky for a sign
The FBI is on my mind
I'm waiting for the day
When my lucky stars align
In the form of...

David Duchovny floating above me
In the alien light of the spaceship of love, I need
David Duchovny hovering above me
American Heathcliff, brooding and comely
David Duchovny, why won't you love me?
Why won't you love me?
Why won't you love me?

So smooth and so smart
He's abducted my heart
And I'm falling apart
From the looks I receive
From those eyes I can't leave
Well you can say I'm naïve
But he told me to believe...

Ooooooooo....

My bags are packed, I am ready for my flight
Want to put an end to my daydream days and sleepless nights
Sitting like a mindless clone
Wishing he would tap my phone
Just to hear the breath of the man, the myth, the monotone
And I would say...

David Duchovny, why won't you love me?
Why won't you love me? Why won't you love me?
David Duchovny, why won't you love me?
Why won't you love me? Why won't you love me?
David Duchovny I want you to love me
To kiss and to hug me, debrief and debug me
David Duchovny I know you could love me
I'm sweet and I'm cuddly - I'm gonna kill Scully!
David Duchovny, why won't you love me?
Why won't you love me? Why won't you love me?

Yeah...

I'll be waiting...
In Nevada...

Speaking of celebrity cameos, here is Brad Paisley’s Celebrity video, proving once and for all (as if there were any doubt) that there is nothing – repeat, nothing – William Shatner can’t do.



Finally, because I am contractually bound to run it every once in a while, Bruce McCulloch and the Kids in the Hall with These Are The Dave’s I Know

The Return Of Buffy!

Put March 7 on your calendars, boys and girls, because that’s the date that Buffy Season 8 begins. Oh it won’t be airing on your television. If you want to “see” Buffy Season 8, you’ll need to visit your local comic shop. As this article at Comic Book Resources explains, Josh Whedon is bringing Buffy Season 8 to Dark Horse Comics as an open-ended comic series. It takes up about a year after the show ended, and. Well. Why not just visit the link and read.

New Template

Okay, this is unrelated to my remark a few days ago about starting a new blog. That's still on the way. In the meantime, I finally took the plunge and updated my template to a new blogger template.

Some thoughts:

* Yes, that’s a big ass list of links. Yes, the new blogger does make adding and taking out links a lot easier. Yes, I tried to make it a comprehensive list of links I visit (or try to visit) on a regular basis. Yes, there are a couple of people left out who I regularly visit, but a: I wasn’t sure they wanted linkage or b: THEY NEVER POST! I’m looking at you, Greenman and Side Notes.

* Yes, comments from earlier posts are gone. No, I don’t know where they went. Yes, I am sorry they are gone because there was occasionally something witty or pithy or interesting or heartfelt there.

* Yes, it’s a lot of black space. Yes, we’ve come a long way from the green template (symbolizing corn, don’t ya know). No, I didn’t have as many template options because I want my links on the left, not the right, as all proper thinking Americans should.

RIP, BMW 530i - 1995-2007

Goodbye old friend - enjoy your journey to the great open roads of the beyond, where cars run forever and never have to worry about transmissions wearing out and the other ills that beset cars on this mortal plane. You were a great car - a great friend - and I mourn your passing. Know that, whatever vehicle takes your place, a part of me will always wish it was you still with me. Godspeed 530i. Godspeed.

Friday Music

I'm in the process of creating and launching a new blog, so rather than a post, here's another collection of You Tube clips. Which, we all know, pretty much constitutes most of my posts these days. The theme? Female alt-country artists Dweeze is incredibly fond of.

Neko Case



Lucinda Williams



Kasey Chambers

Best Halftime Show Ever! Or At Least In A Long Time

I’m a Prince fan, have been since Dirty Mind came out. He had a great run there in the 80s, and to me is one of the few living people one can legitimately call a musical genius. One of the things I liked about him, or at least how he used to be, was that he was both reclusive and accessible. A married couple who are both good friends of mine used to live in the suburbs of Minneapolis, and I would go up there two or three times a year, and they lived in the burb right next to where Prince lived. Indeed, we would often drive by Paisley Park on our way to one location or another. They used to talk about how Prince would go to the downtown clubs at random and announce he was having a party at Paisley Park and everyone was invited. One time when I was there he even had a garage sale at the studios, letting the public wander the grounds. I didn’t go, but I loved that he did it. So I was excited to hear he was the Super Bowl half-time show, and was very happy that it was such a great show. If you missed it, here it is.









And in case you missed it, and you probably did, his mid-week press conference. Apparently the answer to the first question was Johnny B. Goode.



Keeping with the theme, the most awesome Prince song ever: I Could Never Take The Place Of Your Man

Worst Thing About New Blogger?

Strangely enough, the fact that it posts right away and that you don't get the "This will take a few moments, if you have a big blog" message. I loved that message. It always made me giggle a little inside, giggle like a teenage girl.

Things I Don't Understand

Had some errands to run today. They took me approximately three miles north of work and three miles south of work. As most of my travel time was spent on 965, I saw a lot of gas stations. The price per gallon for unleaded with Ethanol, my usual selection, varied from $2.02 to $2.03 to $2.09 to $2.15 to $2.18. Huh? Same product, more or less, right? Indeed, the $2.02, $2.09, and $2.15 were all at different BP stations. Let's add gas prices to the list of things Dweeze doesn't understand.

Friendly Technology Tip

Do yourself a favor and pick up a decent DVD-CD cleaner, particularly if you have kids and you play the same DVDs over and over again. I picked one up over the weekend and have since cleaned about 15 movies. Once again, we have the first three seasons of Spongebob clean and playable.

Because All The Cool Kids Are Doing It

I switched to the new Blogger.

Concert News!

The Wreckers are going to be at the Riverside Casino as part of the casino's Country Fest in late February. Pat Green is going to be at the First Avenue Club in March. Anyone want to go with me? Cause I'm going, even if I have to go by myself. And for the music portion of the post, here's The Wrecker's singing Leave The Pieces:



Followed by Pat Green singing Feels Just Like It Should and then Wave On Wave:





I couldn't find a video of my current favorite Pat Green song. It's called I'm Trying To Find It, and it's off the new, or relatively new, release Cannonball. It's a great, great song, and here are the lyrics

There's a road that goes to an old friends house
Where we grew up, where we hung out
I've been on this highway for three hours now
And I'm trying to find it

And I remember an old pinball arcade
Where I lived out all my yesterdays
And I'm sure it's torn down and gone away
But I'm trying to find it

And there's a feeling that I left behind
I felt it once running down my spine
The fear of God the joy of life
And I'm trying to find it

There's a spot on earth a man can go
To find himself and free his soul
A place somewhere between hell and heaven
Where no one hurts and all's forgiven

A door that leads to light and grace
But the keys are in the darkest place
Though it feels like I've been there before
Though I dont know what I'm looking for

And I'm trying to find it
I'm trying to find it

There's an attic in my old mans house
Full of history I need to know about
Of a life I've lived too long without
And Im trying to find it

And I know you're up there in your room
And I want so bad to heal the wound
But I've hurt you in so many ways
And I dont know why you choose to stay

And I know it's me that let it die
And there's a fire that's gone when I look in your eyes
An innocence that you once had
A piece of you I miss so bad

And I'm trying to find it

Well It's three AM and I'm on my knees
She cries and her eyes looked down on me
As I searched for the book
She loves to hear her daddy read
And I'm trying to find it

There's a road that goes to an old friends house
Where we grew up where we hung out
I've been on this highway for three hours now

New Links

Two new links – Ken Levine’s blog and Monkey Punch Dinosaur. Ken Levine is an award-winning tv writer from such shows as Cheers and M*A*S*H. Monkey Punch Dinosaur is, well, a collection of artwork, photos, etc. of monkeys punching dinosaurs. You can’t go wrong with monkeys punching dinosaurs.

Sweet Baby James

I love singing to Ethan. I’ve sung to him since he was a baby, mostly at night. When he was very young, he would wake in the middle of the night and the only way to get him back to sleep was to drive around. Many times I’d find myself driving him around town at 3:00 am or so, singing. I sang songs I loved, songs I knew by heart, I made up songs for him. One song I loved, one song I sang, was Sweet Baby James.

Sweet Baby James is the title song from James Taylor’s second album. Also on the album are Country Road and Fire and Rain. Think about it. Sweet Baby James, Country Road, and Fire and Rain all on the same album. Those three songs would be a great career for someone, and James Taylor had them all on the same album.

I know Fire and Rain by heart too, and love it dearly, but it’s not much of a lullaby. It’s very downbeat, even depressing, though a wonderfully written song. I mean, that opening lyric is great

Just yesterday morning, they let me know you were gone

How painful is that? And the close to the chorus,

I always thought that I would see you again

Takes on more and more meaning as you get older.

But Sweet Baby James, there’s a lullaby. And it’s optimistic, at least to me, with notions of setting out on your own, of being comfortable with who you are, not to mention wonderfully evocative. I've never seen the Berkshires, but I have an image of them I will never shake.

There is a young cowboy, he lives on the range
His horse and his cattle are his only companions
He works in the saddle and he sleeps in the canyons
Waiting for summer, his pastures to change

And as the moon rises, he sits by his fire
Thinking about women and glasses of beer
And closing his eyes as the dogies retire
He sings out a song which is soft but it's clear
As if maybe someone could hear

Goodnight, you moonlight ladies
Rockabye sweet baby James
Deep greens and blues are the colors I choose
Won't you let me go down in my dreams
And rockabye sweet baby James

Now the first of December was covered with snow
And so was the turnpike from Stockbridge to Boston
Lord, the Berkshires seemed dream-like on account of that frosting
With ten miles behind me and ten thousand more to go

There's a song that they sing when they take to the highway
A song that they sing when they take to the sea
A song that they sing of their home in the sky
Maybe you can believe it if it helps you to sleep
But singing works just fine for me

So, goodnight, all you moonlight ladies
Rockabye sweet baby James
Deep greens and blues are the colors I choose
Won't you let me go down in my dreams
And rockabye sweet baby James.

But we were talking about singing to Ethan, weren’t we?

So the other night, it’s bedtime. He’s not feeling the best, and he asks me to sing to him. I sing Old McDonald, and let him choose the animals. I sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. I sing You Got A Friend In Me from Toy Story, his favorite movie. I then ask what else he wants me to sing, and he says “the cowboy song”. I’m puzzled, because I can’t think of a cowboy song, then it hits me. I sing the first lines of Sweet Baby James, stop and ask if that’s the one. He smiles, says yes, and I sing it for me. I don't know if he remembers it from when he was a baby - I sang it to him again just a few weeks ago - but I like that he remembers it.

And yes, I posted that in part because it gives me a chance to use this again – James Taylor and the Dixie Chicks singing Sweet Baby James.

Shoveling

So, as those who made it out to the old house know, the driveway (at least the one by the front door) was small. I’d say roughly a car and a half long and barely wide enough that when you got out of the car you stepped on driveway and not grass. I parked there in the wintertime, too. The garage was detached from the house, and sat at the bottom of a steep hill. The one time I parked in the garage and it snowed, it took a half hour to back the car far enough down the lane that I could get enough of a running start to get up to the top of the hill over the snow and ice. After that, I just parked in the driveway. So, when it snowed, it took maybe 10 minutes to clear the car and shovel the snow enough to get the car out. My mother’s house, on the other hand, has a two-car wide driveway that is two and a half car lengths long. Shoveling is a much lengthier proposition. This Sunday marked the second week in a row I spent about 45 minutes shoveling a driveway. Needless to say, I was not thrilled at this. Here’s hoping for little snow the rest of the winter.

Hey! Actual Text!

Sure, it's links to stuff other people did. But still. It's an improvement over You Tube clips.

Anyway, for the Star Wars fans, I give you a link to a person explaining how R2D2 is the genius behind the whole rebel alliance.

When you're done with that, here's the Buffalo Beast's 2006 50 Most Loathsome List. A sample:

14. Britney Spears
Charges: Boozy celebrity bimbos are replicating at an alarming rate these days, but the difference is this bilious tramp has two doomed children, both cursed with the warped ribonucleic helices of a beer-chugging swamp princess with a defective larynx and a lucky low-rent wannabe hustler who may actually be the more responsible parent. Spears’ marriage to a universally detested embarrassment to humanity was trashy in two flavors: showbiz in its brevity and trailer in its impressive babies-per-year output. But the worst thing about their unholy matrimony is that we ever had to know who Kevin Federline is. His fame is entirely her fault, and her fame has by far outlasted her initial perverse schoolgirl/jailbait appeal.

Exhibit A: If Britney had shown the world her bald crotch four years ago, it would have caused widespread rioting and possibly a national holiday. Today, even Madonna thinks it’s gross.

Sentence: Thrown from an airplane with a parachute that will only open if she can hit the high E above middle C.

Box In A Box

Because equal time is important

March of the Emporers

Very, very cool ad.

Fiesta Time!

Yes, the slow evolution of Corn O'Copia into a You Tube blog continues. But I couldn't pass this up - it's the last few minutes of the Fiesta Bowl, with the best ending to a college football game ever.

I'm Famous!

No, not really. But I did get a cool shout-out.

Dan Shanoff, current blogger and formerly a writer for ESPN.com, used to write a Sports Night Before Christmas each year for ESPN.com's Daily Quickie. This year, he wrote one for Deadspin, the place online where you are most likely to find me these days. (Here's the wiki entry for Deadspin, for those unfamiliar with the site.) You can find the complete poem here, and see that there, in verse 14, he gives a shout-out to the commenters of Deadspin, and references a few by name. The first referenced? Well, read it and see

On Dweeze! On Lt. Winslow! On Kid Canada! On Denis Lemieux!
On Metschick, on Pam (NJ), on Jen P (Alas, room for too few!)

Pretty cool, huh?

Best Christmas Song Ever

The scene in Meet Me In St. Louis where this is first used is heartbreaking. It is a sad, sad song, but still, in no small way, optimistic. Kinda where I am right now.

Fun With You Tube

Let’s open with a little thing from Saturday Night Live (Note: Not family friendly, but incredibly catchy)



A little London Calling, from the Joe Strummer tribute at the 2003 Grammys (look at that line-up: Bruce Sprinsteen, Elvis Costello, Miami Steve, and Dave Grohl!)



James Taylor and the Dixie Chicks singing Sweet Baby James



Fatboy Slim’s Weapons of Choice



Because you can’t go wrong with Christopher Walken dancing, Pennies from Heaven



And because it never gets old, The Evolution of Dance

Library Thing and Other Free Stuff

Ladies and Gentlemen, Library Thing. This is a great little site for book lovers. On it, you can track and catalog your personal library. You can open a free account, with up to 200 entries, or a pay account, with unlimited entries. The site is linked to both Amazon and the Library of Congress, so you can search by book name, author name, or other fields. Once you find a book you own, you click on it, placing it in your personal catalog. You can use the site to set up your own library catalog for record keeping purposes, or use other functions to search for books to read in the future based on the contents of your library. Try it out – it’s somewhat addicting. (Link via Written World.)

While we’re on the subject of free things online, Kung Fu Monkey had an item awhile back linking to a post at The Simple Dollar listing 30 essential pieces of free and open source software for Windows. You can find the piece here. I don’t have an Office Suite on my home computer, so I have been using AbiWord for Word Processing and Open Office’s Spreadsheet as an Excel substitute. Both work very nicely. I also downloaded Gimpshop, a Photo Shop substitute, but haven’t played with it much.

Notes From The News

Just a couple of tidbits from today's Press Citizen:

Man escapes police by crawling out of squad car window

While under arrest Monday night, Kenneth Charles Cannon, 47, of Coralville, performed a disappearing act by squeezing through the rear window of a squad car.

When pulled over, police said Cannon was wearing a wig to hide his identity. He also “reeked” of alcohol and refused to take blood-alcohol tests at the scene, police said. Cannon was searched, handcuffed and placed in the rear of a patrol car. However, Cannon somehow rolled the rear window down, crawl through it and stumble from the car, police said. Officers found him trying to hide behind a small tree and he was taken back into custody.

Guess you could say he was a loose Cannon.

Hundreds of people waited over night for new Buffalo Wild Wings to open so they could get free chicken wings for a year

Their friend, Mike Hanson, 19, of North Liberty showed up several hours later to take a spot for someone else who had to leave the line for work.

All three said they would definitely brave the cold again, but not just for the free Buffalo wings, Hanson said.

"To tell our kids 20 years from now that we were here the day it opened," Hanson said.

Okay, Mike, maybe you were being ironic and it didn't come through in the article. But if you are, please not that your kids? Are not going to give a fuck that you waited in line all night just to get free chicken wings for a year.

In re Swiper

How incompetent are you as a thief if all it takes to stop you is someone saying “Swiper no swiping” to your face three times? Does that really work, and, if it does, would standing in front of the White House saying “W no desecrating the Constitution” over and over work? Further, do you suppose his parents named him Swiper, as they were members of a large family of thieves and high hopes for their son? Or is Swiper a nickname, given to him ironically the way people call big guys “Tiny”?

The Pace Of Blogging

Here's the thing. It may seem like I haven't been doing a lot of blogging this fall. And I haven't at least here. But I've done most of the Survivor and Amazing Race summaries this fall over at our summary sites - the last five Survivor's in a row and five of the last six Amazing Race's. In other words, one or (usually) two 2,500 - 5,000 word posts a week, every week, for three months. But we're down to just one more Survivor I need to summarize, the episode this week, so my bogging mechanism can return to Corn'O'Copia.

Sign On

Mediacom (in case my previous post didn't show where I was coming down on the issue) came out today and hooked up cable Internet. And Sinclair caved in and will allow Mediacom to continue airing KGAN (our local CBS affiliate) til January 5, 2007 so negotiations can continue. I have a theory why, based on something I was told at the Mediacom office in Iowa City yesterday (I was there setting things up for the Internet - did I mention I have access to broadband at home again? And it was cheap - $9.95 a month). I asked for an antenna kit, as they were giving them to their customers to be able to get KGAN. The clerk told me I didn't need one, because they had been able to find away around the restrictions that were prohibiting them from simply swapping KGAN with the CBS affiliate in the Quad Cities. I'm sure that was a come to Jesus moment for the folks at Sinclair. If Mediacom can do that, it pretty much makes KGAN irelevant. More as the situation develops.

Bye, Bye To The CBS Eye

My non-Iowa readers, and you know who you are, are probably unaware of the little battle we are experiencing between Sinclair “Rightwing Bastards ‘R’ Us Broadcasting and Mediacom Cable. This means that, barring a last-minute resolution, I will no longer have access to CBS on my cable package after tonight.

You can find a nice summary, though obviously from Mediacom’s point of view, here. To me, the heart of the disagreement appears to be this:

Mediacom’s lawsuit against Sinclair was driven in large part by our desire to protect the interests of our customers. Sinclair has insisted that Mediacom pay for all of its stations in our service areas in a single package without consideration to the differences in the various markets. We believe this all-or-nothing scheme violates antitrust law.The ultimate result of this “tying” of Sinclair’s stations would be to increase the price of cable television to consumers by millions of dollars. It is not fair to our customers who ultimately bear these costs and we have decided to draw the line by asking a federal court to stop these practices by Sinclair.

In effect, Mediacom is accusing Sinclair of requiring Mediacom to pay one price for all 23 Sinclair stations in 18 Mediacom markets instead of negotiating individual prices for each market. It’s easy to see how this could result in a nasty increase in the amount Mediacom has to pay for rebroadcast rights for Sinclair stations. Cable pricing is unfair enough as it currently stands; I would never pay for Lifetime on its own, for example, but have to pay for it as part of the package. But at least it is part of the package, and if I choose to watch it I can. Requiring Mediacom customers in eastern Iowa to pay for Sinclair stations in Alabama that are not now and never will be part of our cable package is beyond unfair.

Sinclair’s statement of the situation is here. It might just be me, and it might just be my opinion of Sinclair, but I find their statement to be a lot more weaselly than Mediacom’s. Most noticeably, there is nothing contradicting Mediacom’s assertion that Sinclair is trying to force Mediacom to pay one price for rebroadcast rights to every Sinclair station in a Mediacom market.

Now, being without CBS is not that huge a thing for me. The only thing it affects are Survivor (available online), NFL games (don’t really care all that much as CBS carries AFC games and I am an NFC fan), and TAR (ACKKKK!!!). But it is kind of disconcerting to think that a station I grew up with will not be there anymore. Still, I hope Mediacom doesn’t do a massive cave-in; I think Sinclair will be hurt far more, with advertisers jumping ship to other options, than Mediacom. It will be interesting to see how it plays out. At the very least, it inspired this little parody from me:

So bye, bye to the CBS eye
Turned my TV to the station but the station was dry
Them Sinclair boys demand too much of the pie
Guess I’ll pull the signal down from the sky
Pull the signal down from the sky

Brain Or No Brain

I’m not usually inclined to watch Deal Or No Deal. It’s not appointment television for me by any means. But it is on prior to several shows that are appointment television for me, most particularly Heroes, and so I will, on occasion, watch parts of it. If you don’t know how it’s played, here’s a nice Wiki write-up.

So anyway, last night’s contestant was a big ol Southern guy, currently unemployed, living in his sister and brother-in-law’s basement. His sister, brother-in-law, and best friend were there as his supporters. He got off to a nice start, eliminating lower-valued briefcases from the board, and at one point, getting a $218,000 offer from the banker.

Now here’s the thing. After accounting for the fact that you’d probably lose roughly 35% to taxes, with $218,000, you’d clear around $140,000. I don’t know about you, but $140,000 would pay off all my debt, buy a new car, and give me a serious down payment on a house (or, if not a house, cover rent payments for four to five years) with some left over, and I’m absolutely certain I probably have more debt than our contestant. I’d have jumped so fast at the deal it would make head spins, which probably eliminates me from the contestant pool because I’d be too willing to make a deal instead of gambling and still playing.

Not last night’s Brainiac, however. He chose to keep playing, after a couple more rounds of choosing briefcases, was down to a $57,000 or so offer from the banker. There was only one high value briefcase left on the board, the $750,000 one, and approximately five low value ones. But he kept playing, eliminating several low value briefcases, until there were only three left: the $750,000, the $100, and the $10. This prompted an offer from the banker of $150,000, which after taxes would still be roughly $98,000. I’m no longer making a down payment on a house with that, but I’m still paying off all my debt, buying a new car, paying rent on a new place for a year, and having some left over.

Encyclopedia Brown’s support group was mixed. His brother-in-law and best friend were telling him to say no deal and eliminate another briefcase. But not his sister. Oh no. You could tell she wanted nothing so much in the world as for him to take the money and move the hell out of her house. When he said no deal, she plopped down in her chair, unable to watch what happened next. So what happened next? The next briefcase he picked held the $750,000, meaning his prize was either $100 or $10. He rejected the banker’s offer of $55, a split of the difference, and then walked away with $10, roughly, oh, $217,990 less than he could have had.

So why am I writing? Is it to comment on a show so idiotic that the only skill you need is to be able to identify the numbers between 1 and 26? Is it to comment on the gambling mentality that says keep playing long after the odds have shifted against you? No. It’s because of this.

As they kept eliminating briefcases, they would update and say things like “You started with a 1 in 26 chance of having a highest remaining dollar value briefcase and you now have a 1 in 20 chance!” But I don’t think this is correct. If you turned your briefcase in each round and selected a new one, yes, when you selected your new one you would have a 1 in 20 chance, but you don’t do that. So instead, you still have just a 1 in 26 chance, the original odds when you chose your original briefcase. Because your briefcase doesn’t change during the course of the game, the original odds don’t change. At least that’s how I see it intellectually.

Yet, somehow, this doesn’t seem right intuitively. By the time you are down to three suitcases, you have a one in three chance that the briefcase you initially chose has the highest remaining dollar value. Right? Or are we talking two different things? Is it that you still have the 1 in 26 chance you chose the highest remaining dollar value briefcase initially, but the odds that you have the highest remaining dollar value briefcase in your possession changes as briefcases are eliminated? Does that make sense? Help me, mathletes!

Leaving Pennsylvania In The Broad Daylight*

*Note: Did not actually leave Pennsylvania in broad daylight, but rather under the cover of the night.

Okay, this weekend was the road trip to Coatesville, Pennsylvania to drop off cats and a dog and pick up a four-year-old. Here are some bullet points from the trip.

The trip was supposed to be me, three cats, and one dog. However, when I went to Lone Tree to pick up the cats from my friends who were housing them, Sweetie, the oldest female cat, had gone missing. She was hiding in Bob and Von’s basement like Anne Frank in the attic. As a result, only two cats went east. So, if anyone wants a cat, let me know. (She was found over the weekend while I was gone, too late to make the trip.)

I’m glad I live in a civilized state where we don’t charge people to use the highway. From the far side of Chicago on, the trip was on tollway. Hat tip to the Indiana Tollway for being one of the best maintained roads I’ve ever driven on, for having a 70 mph speed limit, and for being the cheapest. Hat tip to the Ohio Tollway for being three lanes for all but about 50 miles of the 236 mile tollway. Hat tip to the Pennsylvania Tollway for, uhm, not having anywhere near as much construction as people said there would be.

Heaviest amount of traffic, volume-wise? The stretch of 80 between I-55 near Chicago and Gary. This stretch also had the greatest concentration of billboards for adult-oriented businesses. Six if you count Hooters, and I do; Hooters is an adult-oriented business for people too cowardly to frequent actual adult-oriented businesses. “Oh, I go to Hooters for the food!” Right, and I go to strip clubs for the music.

Worst congestion? The stretch of Highway 30 from Lancaster, PA to the extremely misnamed Paradise, PA that runs through Pennsylvania Amish country. For my local readers, think the bit of road in Main Amana with all the shops on a Saturday or Sunday, except multiply the stretch of road by five miles, the people by 100, and make the stretch of road a major highway instead of a side street.

I know it’s judging a book by it’s cover because I didn’t go into either establishment, but I imagine the quality of entertainment at the Amish Musical Dinner Theatre and the quality of the food at Jakob’s Amish Barbeque is not very high. And don’t get me started on the store that referred to itself as America’s Best Southwestern Store. Southwestern what? You had an Indian and cactus on the sign, so I assumed Southwestern United States. Sorry, there’s just no way I am believing that America’s Best Southwestern Store is located in southeastern Pennsylvania.

Note to hotel owners: If you offer me a complimentary newspaper, I? Will take it. That’s who I am; that’s how I roll. Conversely, if you offer me a lukewarm glass of orange juice and a cold Danish and call it breakfast, I? Will pass. That’s who I am; that’s how I roll.

I took my mother’s car, because, well, mine sucks and her car is relatively new. It also has a six-cd changer, which makes traveling nicer. Here are some songs I listened to repeatedly.

Iowa
Dar Williams

I've never had a way with women
But the hills of Iowa make me wish that I could
And I've never found a way to say I love you
But if the chance came by, oh I, I would

But way back where I come from, we never mean to bother
We never make our passions other people's concern
And we walk in the world of safe people
And at night we walk into our houses and burn

Iowa, oh-oh-oh-oh, Iowa, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-I, Iowa

How I long to fall just a little bit
To dance out of the lines and stray from the light
But I fear that to fall in love with you
Is to fall from a great and gruesome height

So I asked a friend about it on a bad day, her husband had just left her
She sat down in the chair he left behind
She said, "What is love, where did it get me?
Whoever thought of love is no friend of mine."

Iowa, oh-oh-oh-oh, Iowa, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-I, Iowa

Once I had everything, I gave it up
For the shoulder of your driveway and the words I never felt
And so for you, I came this far across the tracks
Ten miles above the limit and with no seat belt, and I'd do it again

For tonight I went running through the screen doors of discretion
For I woke up from a nightmare that I could not stand to see
You were a-wandering out on the hills of Iowa and
You were not thinking of me

Oh-ah-a- ah-a Iowa

Untouchable Face
Ani DiFranco

think i'm going for a walk now
i feel a little unsteady
i don't want nobody to follow me
'cept maybe you
i could make you happy you know
if you weren't already
i could do a lot of things
and i do

tell you the truth i prefer
the worst of you
too bad you had to have a better half
she's not really my type
but i think you two are forever
and i hate to say it but
you're perfect together

so fuck you
and your untouchable face
and fuck you
for existing in the first place
and who am i
that i should be vying for your touch
and who am i
i bet you can't even tell me that much

two-thirty in the morning
and my gas tank will be empty soon
neon sign on the horizon
rubbing elbows with the moon
a safe haven of sleepless
where the deep fryer's always on
radio is counting down
the top 20 country songs
and out on the porch the fly strip is
waving like a flag in the wind
y'know, i don't look forward
to seeing you again soon
you'll look like a photograph of yourself
taken from far far away
and i won't know what to do
and i won't know what to say

except fuck you...
and your untouchable face
and fuck you
for existing in the first place
and who am i
that i should be vying for your touch
and who am i
i bet you can't even tell me that much

i see you and i'm so perplexed
what was i thinking
what will i think of next
where can i hide
in the back room there's a lamp
that hangs over the pool table
and when the fan is on it swings
gently from side to side
there's a changing constellation
of balls as we are playing
i see orion and you say nothing
the only thing i can think of saying

is fuck you...
and your untouchable face
and fuck you
for existing in the first place
and who am i
that i should be vying for your touch
and who am i
i bet you can't even tell me that much

Wednesday Song

Final move update tomorrow. For now, a song.

Dimming of the Day

This old house is falling down around my ears
I'm drowning in a river of my tears
When all my will is gone you hold me sway
I need you at the dimming of the day

You pull me like the moon pulls on the tide
You know just where I keep my better side

What days have come to keep us far apart
A broken promise or a broken heart
Now all the bonnie birds have wheeled away
I need you at the dimming of the day

Come the night you're only what I want
Come the night you could be my confidante

I see you on the street in company
Why don't you come and ease your mind with me
I'm living for the night we steal away
I need you at the dimming of the day

Yes I need you at the dimming of the day

Move Update And Sign Off

* Reached my primary goal of getting everything to the storage unit that's going to the storage unit. Have a nice staging area of things going to my mom's house. However, did not reach primary goal of having everything that's garbage bagged and ready for the garbage man tomorrow. On the other hand, I'll be shocked if the garbage man takes all of the bags and boxes and other items I'll be leaving for him. My first trip with the U-Haul tomorrow may be to the landfill.

* Probably two-three hours left of work before everything is ready to go, though if I fall into "box it up and sort it out later" mode that could shorten considerably.

* Last post from North Liberty - the computer will be taken down and moved tomorrow. Not sure what kind of access I will have at night from here on. So good night for now, and talk to you all later.

Move Update

* It is easier to unload than to load.

* The correct answer to the question "Will this fit in the car?" is always "How badly do you want it to fit?"

* Garage is clean, except for approximately a pick-up truck load at the front of stuff that needs to go to the landfill, which was not open on Sunday. I found that out the hard way, by jamming the car full and driving there. I should have looked online. The pool shed and the pool chemical room are empty of our stuff, though there are some things in there that were there when we moved in. My, our?, bedroom is empty of everything but the bed, the nightstand and alarm clock and lamp, and my clothes. The only other things upstairs are in the display cabinet in the hall. I'm saving those for among the last things I do - the cabinet is full of very nice, very fragile, very meaning laden things. Ditto the pictures on the wall. My last load, which I finished about a half hour ago (and just got out of the shower), was from the kitchen. Everything is out of the kitchen except for the things I will take to my mom's house. That leaves the computer room, which, considering the cds and dvds and some of the books and some of the albums and the three bookcases and one cd case were moved out Friday, basically just means the computer desk and the computer. On the other hand, I've taken to using the room as something of a staging area, but the things I am staging are already boxed and waiting to go to Williamsburg. On the third hand, there is a big closet off the computer room, and that thing is PACKED. It's at least an hour's worth of work.

* My goal for tomorrow is to have everything that is going to the storage shed in the storage shed by the end of the evening. I plan on getting a U-Haul on Tuesday and moving the rest of the stuff going to my mom's in one load. This supercedes the previous plan of relying on friend's trucks - there are at least three pick-up truck loads, so better to take one U-Haul than three pick-ups.

* I still need to place the cats for four nights, from Tuesday to Saturday. Any takers?

Random Moving Thoughts

* Got a storage unit about five minutes from the current house. Proximity is good.

* On Friday, I moved 6 long boxes of comics, 14 short boxes of comics, 5 milk crates of comics, 14 milk crates of books, 6 milk crates of albums, 3 milk crates of video tapes, 6 milk crates of dvds, and 7 milk crates of cds. By myself.

* Milk crates are the perfect moving carrier for things like dvds, cds, books, and comics. But man, that many are heavy.

* Friends are good to have. Friends with trucks are better. Thanks Matt! Everyone, give Matt a big round of applause.

* On Saturday, Matt and I moved eight loads with the truck, taking everything out of the house that needed to be moved by truck except for the stuff going to my mom's house. Oh, and a baker's rack. Cause I didn't have it cleared.

* I moved eight loads on my own in addition to the eight loads Matt and I moved. Indeed, except for a half hour when Matt and I had lunch at Subway, I spent twelve hours Saturday engaged in moving activities. I am way ahead of where I wanted to be at this point, though there is still plenty to do. The basement is empty. The boy's room is empty. The living room is practically empty. We even got the home entertainment center, which I thought for sure was going to have to wait so I could break it down.

* Nice to have an extra hour of sleep tonight. I can really use it. I am sore, sore, sore. My arms, particularly. I'm not sure which is worse. The eight loads we moved by truck were heavy, but the most items we had on any load was six, for a total of around 30 items. As a result, we got those eight loads moved in 2.5 hours. If you do the math on the milk crates alone up top, you get 61 milk crates (thanks decades of restaurant work!). As a result, my arms feel rubbery.

* Left to move? My bedroom, kitchen, computer room, toys, and one really jam-packed closet. Left to clean out? The rest of the garage and the pool shed. Tomorrow will be another busy day.

Thursday Song

Top of the World
Dixie Chicks

I wished I was smarter,
I wished I was stronger
I wished I love Jesus,
The way my wife does
I wish it had been easier,
Instead of any longer
I wished I could have stood
Where you would have been proud
That won't happen now
That won't happen now

There's a whole lot of singing that's never gonna be heard
Disappearing everyday without so much as a word somehow
Think I broke the wings of that little song bird
She's never gonna fly to the top of the world right now
Top of the world

I don't have to answer
Any of these questions
Don't have no God to
Teach me no lessons
I’d come home in the evening,
Sit in my chair
One night they called me for supper,
But I never got up
I stayed right there,
In my chair

There's a whole lot of singing that's never gonna be heard
Disappearing everyday without so much as a word somehow
Think I broke the wings of that little song bird
She's never gonna fly to the top of the world right now
Top of the world

I wished I'd of known you,
Wished I'd of shown you
All of the things I
Was on the inside
I'd pretend to be sleeping,
When you come in in the morning
To whisper good-bye,
Go to work in the rain
I don't know why,
Don't know why

Cause everyone's singing, we just wanna be heard
Disappearing every day without so much as a word somehow
Wanna grab a hold of that little song bird
Take her for a ride to the top of the world right now
To the top of the world,
To the top of the world,
To the top of the world,
To the top of the world,
To the top of the world
To the top of the world,
To the top of the world,
To the top of the world

You Know How I Know You’re Stoned?

You deposited your bag of pot at the bank along with the night’s receipts from the pizza place where you work. Course, that also could be how I know you’re stupid.

Police arrested a Pizza Pit employee after he allegedly deposited some marijuana at the bank last month.

Adrian Michael Hilton, 25, of Coralville, is charged with possession of marijuana, a serious misdemeanor punishable by no more than six months in prison and a $1,000 fine.

According to a criminal complaint filed by the Coralville Police department:
Employees at American Bank and Trust told police they found a bag of marijuana in the Pizza Pit deposit bag dropped off in the night deposit box Sept. 17. Pizza Pit employees identified Hilton as having made the deposit.

So Where Were We?

I'm moving. It's a matter of financial necessity. I'm going to my mother's basement.

Yep, 47 years old and living in my mother's basement. But at least it means I'm going to be going to get Ethan soon, and I can't begin to tell you how much that means to me. I missed his birthday, damnit. Not that I forgot it, or didn't talk to him and send a card (saving the gift for when he gets back), just that I wasn't there with him on that day. He was a c-section birth, and I was the third person to hold him in his life, and I wasn't with him on his birthday. I cried a lot that day.

And now I'm moving, having to be out by the end of the month. It's tough to pack up what's left of a life together; tougher still when you're packing up what remains of your family. Every object, it seems, has a memory attached to it, and the better the memory, the harder it is to pack away, put it in some box and seal it, never knowing when you might release that memory again. It's like slogging through a deep, snowy field, knowing you have to reach your destination but getting more exhausted with each step. And so you put it off, and put it off, and put it off, hoping that in condensing the time to accomplish the task you can also condense the pain and heartache of the task. But it doesn't help. It just adds a nice layer of panic to the sadness.

So, that's been my life lately. Haven't had much to say - well, that's not true. I have a lot I could say. Haven't had much I want to say. I'm kind of private like that. But I know that this pain has been building, and this day has been coming, and it has colored my life and my existence for so long, manifested itself in so many ways, and I hope that sometime in the future, maybe even the near future, I can start being a little more of who I think of as myself. I mean, the last time I played poker with friends, I freaked out over a hand and was a complete and total asshole, and I still haven't apologized, still haven't said I was sorry because everytime I start to compose an email to say so I start crying and drop it. I start crying a lot these days. I cry in the car sitting out front of stores. Cry in the car sitting in the parking lot at work. I cry before I leave for work and on the way to work and the way home from work and at home after work. I run into casual friends who ask how things are and I have to fight back the tears. I can't even manage an "Okay" for most of them. I'll often say "bad" and just leave it like that, hanging in the air, and then I'll go and cry. There's a phrase in Paul Simon's Slip Sliding Away that captures it perfectly:

She said a good day, ain't got no rain
She said a bad day's when I lie in bed and think of things, that might have been

I just want days with no rain, with no tears. Haven't had any in a long time, not sure how long it will be before I have one again.

And that's who I am right now, and that's not who I want to be, cause that's not who I believe I truly am. So I'm moving, and boxing up a life and storing it away, and maybe after that's accomplished, maybe after my son's back, I can at least start to rebuild, start to reform, start to live again, live and not cry. That's my dream, and I hope it will be my future.

TAR Summary Written And Posted

New TAR summary up here.

"Who did it? Frank?"

I am not normally a big Norm Macdonald fan, but this is one of the funniest things I’ve seen in quite some time. I love Stewart's reactions to this.

Rain Forest Picks Pella

Film at eleven, story at PC Online.

Yet another example of the total incompetence of the project management team. You could locate the facility at A: near two major highways right next to a brand new entertainment center where said entertainment center has already offered to make the most significant private sector financial contribution your project has ever received or B: in a far more out of the way and difficult to reach location. So which do you choose? Well, if you’re smart, you go with A. You have to go with A. What did they do? They went with B. I’m beginning to think they have a death wish.

You Know What Sucks?

Playing poker for six hours, til 3:00 in the morning on a work night, as part of 2,000 person tourney where the top 18 advance on to the next tourney, and finishing 20th. Yes, I finished better than 1,980 people. Yes, I finished in the 100th percentile. But I still missed the payoff, and missed it by two people. The only thing that would have sucked more would be being the poor bastard who finished 19th.

I didn’t make many mistakes, though. Looking back at the hand that brought me out of contention, I would still play it the same way. I was sitting at about 80,000 chips, 15th with 26 left. I get dealt A-K spades in third position. The person in first position went all in with 40,000. Factoring in blinds and antes (the blinds at this point were 3,000-6,000, the antes 750), the pot was over 55,000. I had a great starting hand, so I didn’t just call, I went all in myself, hoping to isolate him. Everyone else dropped but the big blind, who called my all-in. This left a main pot of over 135,000 and a side pot of 80,000. I still wasn’t worried, thinking I would only be dominated by A-A and a slight dog to any pair. The short stack shows A-J hearts, I show my A-K spades, and the other caller shows A-K offsuit. So far, so good. All my fellow A-K have to do is fade the J and we split 215,000. From that point it would be tough not to make the top 18. And, in a perfect world, three spades would hit the board, I’d take the entire 235,000, and I wouldn’t have to play another hand.

The J hit on the turn.

I was down to 40,000, and when you lose 15,750 every rotation (with blinds increasing every ten minute), that’s not a good place to be. I still outlasted six other people, but I missed out on top 18 by the barest of margins. I couldn’t catch a hand the rest of the way, and finally called a raise with 10-5 suited. I was big blind, I only had 2,000 in chips after paying the blind and my ante, the small blind alone on the next hand would be more than my chip stack if I mucked, and even if I waited and everyone called (at this point we were a table of six) and I had a decent hand I could win more money from this pot than waiting. So I called, saw my 10-5 up against A-4, and lost to Ace high.

On the other hand, you know what doesn’t suck?

Saturday, or more accurately early Sunday, I played in an 1,800 person tourney. In this tourney, the top 36 moved on to the next round. In that one, I ended up 21st. I got some great cards and played them well. But the thing I am proudest of in that one is how I played at the bubble. At the 37 mark there were three of us who didn’t have enough chips to make another rotation of blinds and antes. I was watching the tables where the other two people were. They were automatically mucking every hand, hoping someone went out first. I, on the other hand, got dealt A-10 spades right after the button. Now, I could have folded. The other two people would be put all in by the blinds before I was. But I went all in anyway. Two people called, the flop was all spades, and I tripled up. On the very next hand I got dealt K-K. I went all in again, got called by the big stack who had A-J, and doubled up again. A few hands later I doubled again, and coasted not only to the top 36 but to 21st. The next tourney is Saturday – the top nine move on, with the eventual goal a tourney where the winner gets an Aussie Millions prize package.

Today's Song

The Wreckers, Leave The Pieces

You're not sure that you love me
But you're not sure enough to let me go
Baby it ain't fair you know
To just keep me hangin' 'round

You say you don't wanna hurt me
Don't want to see my tears
So why are you still standing here
Just watching me drown

And it's alright, yeah i'll be fine
Don't worry 'bout this heart of mine
Just take your love and hit the road

There's nothing you can do or say
You're gonna break my heart anyway
So just leave the pieces when you go

You can drag out the heartache
Baby you can make it quick
Really get it over with
And just let me move on

Don't concern yourself
With this mess you've left for me
I can clean it up, you see
Just as long as you're gone

And it's alright, yeah i'll be fine
Don't worry 'bout this heart of mine
Just take your love and hit the road

There's nothing you can do or say
You're gonna break my heart anyway
So just leave the pieces when you go

You not making up your mind
Is killing me and wasting time
I need so much more than that
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

And it's alright, yeah i'll be fine
Don't worry 'bout this heart of mine
Just take your love and hit the road

There's nothing you can do or say
You're gonna break my heart anyway
So just leave the pieces when you go

How It Should Have Ended

Courtesy of Blog@Newsarama, How It Should Have Ended. I particularly like the Star Wars and Lord of the Rings entries.

You Know How You Know I Have Kids?

Because the only band-aid I could find to put on my skull when I cut it open last night on a metal shelf support has a Power Ranger on it.

Fun Little Time Waster

Okay, I know I’m the resident comic geek, but Crap and TanMan might enjoy this site too.

Thought For The Day

You know, you come back from a meeting to your cube, and even though it’s a nice cube, a window cube, it’s a cube, and you’ve been sitting at it, or at something similar, for almost fifteen years, and in all probability you’re going to be sitting at it, or something similar, for another twenty years or more, and suddenly the idea of getting killed by a stingray while at work doesn’t seem so horrible.

Genius Of The Day

I'll just reprint the whole thing found here.

A man was arrested Friday night after he allegedly threatened a waitress at a Coralville restaurant.

Christopher Paul Huffey, 18, of Moscow, was arrested for second-degree harassment at 7:15 p.m. Friday outside of the Steak n’ Shake, 2806 Commerce Drive in Coralville.

According to police, Huffey passed a note to the waitress stating he would “beat her” if she did not bring him her tip money within two minutes. He later admitted to writing the note, police said.

Wow. There's dumb, and there's dumb. And then there's this guy.

It reminds me of one time when I was working at Country Kitchen in Coralville as a manager. It was a Saturday, actually, early Sunday, about an hour after the bar rush had ended. We used to get all the cops on the midnight shift - city, highway patrol, sheriff's department. They would come in after their post-bar duties had ended. It was one such night, with about eight different officers in the main dining room, when some guy on a bike - a bike, mind you - decided to leave without paying. I was getting coffee for the officers and the waitress said "Dweeze, some guy just left without paying." Before I could say anything, three or four cops were on their feet saying "Who?" She pointed to him out the window as he was climbing on his bicycle. They started moving towards the door at about the exact same moment he glanced back inside. The look on his face was priceless. He dropped the bike and took off running, but he didn't have a chance. It was great.